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skye_writerSo for the last couple months, I've been working my way through Ursula K. LeGuin's book Steering the Craft, which has exercises to help a writer work on the actual craft of writing. The exercises involve such techniques as sentence length, repetition, and so on. One exercise asks you to write a descriptive scene with no adjectives or adverbs, for example.
The two exercises I'm sharing from today are Point of View and Voice related, Exercises Seven and Eight in the book. Here's LeGuin's preface to Exercise Seven:
LeGuin later says that the same situation can be used for Exercise Eight, which is what I did. The situation I came up with involves my TRON/Pacific Rim crossover, which I've been poking at since 2019 or so? One of the stories in this crossover involves TRON character Quorra's quest to become a Jaeger pilot. This little scene follows a couple weeks after Quorra has a disastrous first Drift with another solo Ranger candidate, Ari Mendoza (an OC). Meanwhile, another candidate, Eddy Dickinson (also an OC), has been harboring a bit of a grudge against Quorra. He's young and a bit of a hothead and is convinced that Quorra's bad Drift with Ari means she's not fit for the program.
So. Here we go.
Exercise Seven, Part One: Two Voices: First: Tell your little story from a single POV, that of a participant in the event. Use limited third person. Second: retell the story from the POV of one of the other people involved in it. Again, use limited third person.
Quorra rolled her eyes at Dickinson’s rant. Just more of his usual nonsense, and nothing she was interested in listening to. She turned to go, only to find herself shoved back by a tight knot of other cadets. She stumbled, but kept her feet, looking up to see Dickinson squaring up against her, his fists raised and his expression intense.
So that’s what this was about. Quorra sighed, and mastered the urge to reach for the disc on her back that wasn’t there. She straightened, raising her own fists in turn, though she had no intention of landing a single punch. She raised her eyebrows, inviting him to make the first move.
The problem, Quorra thought wearily as she dodged his first punch, is he’s too young to have ever been in a bad fight. And he doesn’t know how to stop telegraphing his every move. She dodged a few more jabs easily, then feinted left. He fell for it, and Quorra dropped to the right, into a crouch. Before Dickinson could straighten, she swept one leg into his ankles to knock him down.
He hit the floor with a satisfying thud (and thankfully with no crack of a skull hitting concrete). Quorra stood up, locking her gaze with his. He looked bewildered, and maybe angry, too. “Don’t try that again,” she said. Then she shouldered through the ring of cadets surrounding them and walked out of the mess.
Eddy saw red for a moment when Flynn rolled her eyes. Lucky for him, they were surrounded by all his friends, and they shoved her back when she tried to leave, while Eddy shook out his shoulders and rolled his neck. He squared up, raising his fists, and glared at her so she’d know just who she was messing with. Cadets weren’t supposed to fight, but she should have been scratched weeks ago, and he needed the practice before he and Andi got their own Jaeger.
Flynn squared up, too, meeting his eyes with a glare that matched his own. Then she raised her eyebrows, and was that a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth? What a cocky bitch! Just for that, Eddy lunged in, aiming his first punch to knock that smile right off her face.
She dodged him, ducking just out of reach. Eddy lunged again, but again his fists found empty air. Then she raised her left arm; Eddy raised his arms to block her, but the blow he was expecting never came. He lowered his arms just in time to see her moving in the corner of his eyes, and then the world toppled around him.
He hit the concrete with enough force to knock the air out of his lungs. His vision blurred for a moment, and when he blinked, Flynn was standing above him. “Don’t try that again,” she said, then turned and walked away. Eddy could feel his face warming, and he grimaced, hoping the anger burning inside him was visible on every inch of his face. What a low-down bitch! All she’d proven was she couldn’t throw a punch. He’d show her. He’d show everyone why she didn’t deserve to be here.
Exercise Seven, Part Two: Detached Narrator: Tell the same story using the detached author or "fly on the wall" POV.
The female cadet rolls her eyes at the male cadet’s words. A dozen other cadets surround them in a tight circle, repelling her when she tries to walk away. The male cadet raises his fists, and after a moment, she does the same. She raises her eyebrows at him, and he lunges at her, one fist raised.
She dodges every punch he throws. Then the female cadet raises a fist, and when the male cadet blocks her, she drops to the floor. She kicks one leg out and sweeps it under his ankles.
The male cadet falls to the floor, on his back. The female cadet stands, tells him not to try that again, and pushes through the other cadets to leave the mess.
Exercise Seven, Part Three: Observer Narrator: If there wasn't a character in the original version who was there but was not a participant, add such a character now. Tell the same story in that character's voice, in first or third person.
Ari saw Quorra Flynn cross the mess, and avoided her gaze. But he couldn’t help but overhear Eddy Dickinson’s rant, and he looked up in time to see the kid’s friends gathering around him and Quorra. Well, that couldn’t be good.
With a resigned sigh, Ari got to his feet and ambled over to the knot of cadets. Through arms and over shoulders, he saw Dickinson squaring up, his fists raised and a crazy glint in his eyes. He almost moved to break it up before things got bad, but then Quorra raised her fists as well. Ari raised his eyebrows, then blinked as a foreign memory flitted across his mind. He’d thought the after effects of his aborted Drift with her were gone by now. No such luck, apparently. But he knew one thing now with absolute certainty: Dickinson had no chance of winning this fight.
Quorra had her back to him, but Ari could guess from Dickinson’s enraged expression that she’d done something to provoke him. He lunged forward with a fist up, but Quorra side-stepped him easily. Dickinson stumbled, but threw himself at her again, and again. Quorra still had her fists raised and ready, but she hadn’t thrown a single punch. She wouldn’t have to, Ari thought. She’s fought to stay alive for years, and dodging a young idiot who telegraphed his every move had to be like child’s play to her.
Ari spotted her feint at once; she’d used that move more than once when they sparred in the Kwoon, before the disastrous Drift. But Dickinson fell for it, blocking himself against a punch that wasn’t coming. Quorra dropped to a crouch, and in one motion swept Dickinson’s feet out from under him.
He hit the concrete with a satisfying thud. Ari grinned to himself, then turned and went back to his tray of food. No need to let her see he’d been watching. He still wasn’t sure he even liked her anymore, but damn if it wasn’t nice to see Eddy Dickinson get put in his place.
Exercise Seven, Part Four: Involved Author: Tell the same or a new story using the involved-author POV. Part Four may require you to expand the whole thing, up to two or three pages, 1000 words or so. You may find you need to give it a context, find out what led up to it, or follow it further.
Eddy Dickinson had been nursing a grudge against Quorra almost from the beginning. Other than the Becket brothers, Eddy and his sister Andi were the only other established pair in their cadet class. The Beckets were promoted weeks ago, and Eddy had taken it personally when Quorra Flynn and Ari Mendoza had been paired as the next likely Jaeger team. When Quorra and Ari’s first Drift had ended in disaster, Eddy thought for sure he and Andi would see the inside of a Jaeger. But weeks had passed with no such news, and Eddy was ready to blame it on someone. Quorra made a convenient target. She spoke oddly sometimes; she was over thirty. She’d even offered to help him with staff sparring, which he’d found insulting.
So it was no surprise Eddy confronted Quorra in the mess that afternoon. Quorra herself was only a little shocked; Eddy had made it clear, these last weeks, that he thought she should have been scratched from the cadets the moment she’d failed the test Drift. Still, she had no patience for his nonsense. She’d known from the moment she met him that he had a massive ego, and she was fairly certain that he had little to no actual connection with his sister, who was supposed to be his Drift partner. So Quorra rolled her eyes when he started in again, and tried to walk away.
She forgot to account for his other friends among the cadets. They had encircled Eddy and Quorra, and shoved Quorra back from her attempted exit. Quorra turned back to Eddy, who had his fists raised, ready to fight. He was eager for a fight, ready to show her just how powerful he was, and just how weak and unsuited she was for this program. His friends jeered and pulled close together, trapping Quorra and goading her to fight. Fighting among cadets was forbidden, of course, but Eddy thought his position as a cadet was largely secured, thanks to his sister. Quorra, on the other hand, had no partner, and it seemed to Eddy that another failure would bump her from the Ranger program for good. When she finally squared up, he hid his smirk of satisfaction. Maybe after this, he’d finally be rid of her. But when Quorra raised her eyebrows in challenge, Eddy let his temper get the best of him, and lunged in at once.
Quorra had one advantage over Eddy: she’d been in more fights than him. She knew how to face down one opponent, and she knew even better how to avoid getting hit. As he threw himself at her, she neatly side-stepped him. It certainly helped that he had no finesse; he indicated his next moves with all the subtlety of a neon sign. Quorra didn’t need to watch him closely to get out of the way of his fists. She had years (well, cycles) of experience at this, and instinct guided her moves, until she felt it was time to land a blow of her own.
She raised her left fist, and Eddy fell for the feint almost immediately. He raised his arms to block her blow, and Quorra took the opportunity to drop into a crouch. As Eddy realized she was no longer there, she swept one leg behind his ankles and knocked him onto his back, his body hitting the concrete with a meaty smack. Eddy gasped and choked, his wind knocked out, the shock of being bested only just registering to him. Quorra got to her feet and looked down at him. There was no triumph in her eyes, merely resignation.
“Don’t try that again,” Quorra said. She didn’t wait for him to catch his breath and formulate a response. Without another word, she pushed through his friends (all shocked at his defeat) and walked out of the mess. She didn’t care if she got in trouble. She knew more about her position with Marshall Jericho than Eddy did. She was fairly certain she was a lot more valuable to Jericho than a kid bully.
Exercise Eight: Changing Voices, Part One: Quick Shifts in Limited Third: A short narrative, 200-600 words. You can use one of the sketches from Exercise 7 or make up a new scene of the same kind: several people involved in the same activity or event. Tell the story using several different viewpoint characters (narrators) in limited third person, changing from one to another as the narrative proceeds. Mark the changes with line breaks, with the narrators name in parentheses, or with any device you like.
(Eddy) Eddy had been planning this for a week. He watched Quorra Flynn eat her lunch, then get up to return her tray. As she crossed the mess to the door, Eddy signaled to his friends and hurried to intercept her. It was time to give her a piece of his mind. Maybe then she’d finally understand that she didn’t belong here, and she’d pack up and run back home.
(Ari) He’d avoided watching Quorra cross the mess, but the distinct whine of Eddy Dickinson’s voice finally made Ari look her way. Dickinson stood in front of Quorra, carrying on about god knew what, while his usual pack of friends were slowly closing ranks around them. Ari sighed. That couldn’t be good. He knew a little too well that Quorra could hold her own in a fight. But fighting between cadets was forbidden, and while Ari didn’t disapprove of rule-breaking… he didn’t think Dickinson had it in him to hold his own. Ari stood up and started toward them.
(Quorra) Eddy’s friends shoved her back toward him, and Quorra had to work to stay upright. As she straightened up, Eddy raised his fists, a smirk on his face and a glint in his eye. So he wanted a fight, and Quorra’s avoidance of him these last two weeks had only increased his misplaced confidence. Quorra held back a sigh, then raised her fists as well. Eddy’s smirk widened into a grin. Then Quorra raised her eyebrows, inviting him to make the first move, and the young idiot fell for it.
(Ari) He had to hold back a laugh as Dickinson lunged for Quorra, one fist raised and an angry snarl on his face. She side-stepped him at once, and the kid had to scramble to keep from falling over. Ari shook his head and kept watching, amused more than concerned now. Dickinson had no technique and no finesse; he telegraphed his every move well in advance, making it easy for Quorra to avoid him. He knew Quorra knew how to fight, almost as well as he knew himself; their failed Drift from two weeks ago was still echoing through his mind. And he knew right now that she didn’t need to land a single blow to win this fight.
(Eddy) He was almost relieved when Flynn raised a fist; he’d been wondering when she was going to try to fight back. Eddy quickly moved to block her incoming blow, ducking his head and lifting his arms to guard himself further. But the blow he was expecting never came. Eddy blinked, then raised his head—and Flynn was nowhere to be seen. He saw something out of the corner of his eye, a swift motion. He looked down to see—and then the world toppled around him.
(Quorra) Eddy hit the floor with a meaty smack. Quorra stood up at once, dusting her hands off on her pants before she looked down at him. “Don’t try that again,” she said coldly. He glared up at her with malice in his eyes, and opened his mouth to say something. But she’d knocked out his breath, and whatever he wanted to say was lost in a cough. Quorra shook her head. She didn’t have to stay here for this. Without another word, she pushed through the ring of his friends and headed out the door. With any luck, he’d learned his lesson, but she rather doubted her luck these days.
Exercise Eight, Part Two: Thin Ice: In 300-1000 words, tell the same story or a new story of the same kind, deliberately shifting POV from character to character several times without any obvious signal to the reader that you're doing so.
Quorra had a great deal on her mind as she hurried out of the mess that afternoon. First and foremost was Caitlin Lightcap’s impending visit, the visit that would either make or break Quorra’s dreams of becoming a Jaeger pilot. Quorra hadn’t seen Sam since breakfast that morning, and while she was sure he had gotten Marshal DeWinter’s message, she wanted to talk to him about it. So she was thinking about stopping by in the J-tech lab to chat with him, and not remotely considering that anyone would stop her from leaving the mess.
When someone grabbed her arm, Quorra had to tamp down the urge to grab them back. She shook off her assailant, and turned to look down at the pale, sneering face of Eddy Dickinson. She didn’t know what his problem with her was, or why he’d escalated beyond rumor-mongering these last few weeks, but she could tell by the look on his face that he was about to explain himself at length. The thought of listening to him for that long made her cringe inside, and regardless, she had other places to be.
Quorra tried to walk away, but he grabbed her arm again and started in on her, his voice pitched loudly enough that the whole mess could hear. Ari Mendoza, seated against the wall in the middle of the room, heard, and found himself looking at Quorra for the first time in over a week. He’d seen her walk past on her way out, and deliberately avoided wondering where she was off to. But Dickinson’s trademark whine demanded attention, and now that he was looking their way, he could see Dickinson’s pack of friends and followers crowding around Quorra, penning her in with Dickinson. Something was going to happen, and while Ari didn’t disapprove of fighting like the Marshals did, he didn’t like the looks of what was going on over there. So he got up and began a slow meander towards the knot of people by the door.
By the time Ari arrived at the crowd, Dickinson had finished his rant and Quorra had tried to leave and been repulsed by a wall of people. Ari glanced over the shoulders of the crowd in time to see Dickinson squaring up, his fists raised and a crazy look in his eyes. He had to bite back a laugh; whatever Dickinson was planning to do here, he had not remotely thought it through. Even after one aborted Drift, Ari knew Quorra almost as well as he knew himself. And he knew better than most that she knew how to fight. Dickinson did not know what he was starting here.
At the moment, only Eddy knew what he was about, and that was showing Quorra Flynn that she wasn’t remotely special. She didn’t belong in the Jaeger program if she couldn’t get through a basic test Drift, and Eddy was about to show her the door. He grinned as she slowly put up her fists. He’d been trying to get her to defend herself for two weeks now, and now she finally saw she had no choice. She met his eyes, and he thought he could see a glimmer of her fear there. And then she raised her eyebrows, as though she was expecting him to go first. Eddy’s immediate thought was how cocky she was being, when he was about to kick her ass. So he decided to oblige her, and threw himself forward with one fist raised.
But then she suddenly wasn’t there. Eddy almost stumbled into the human wall around them. He caught himself just in time, and turned to see Flynn standing there, her fists up and her expression almost totally neutral. Eddy growled under his breath, and threw himself at her again, utterly unaware that he was fighting with all the careful subtlety of a neon sign. Ari could predict his every move just from the positions of his body. The kid had no finesse at all, and it was plain to him, at least, that Dickinson hadn’t been in a real fight once in his life. Quorra side-stepped his every attempt to punch her, and Ari again found himself fighting the urge to laugh. If Dickinson had any inclination to learn, Quorra could have taught him a great deal. But he seemed more concerned with landing a punch on her, and he was wearing himself out in the process.
Ari spotted Quorra’s feint at once; she’d used it often enough during their spars in the Kwoon. She raised her arm in an apparent jab, aimed right at Dickinson’s head, and Dickinson fell for it. He ducked his head and guarded himself with his arms, but Quorra was already dropping to the floor.
She kicked out with one leg, knocking Dickinson’s feet out from under him. Quorra took a small satisfaction in the meaty smack of his back hitting the concrete, and stood up before he had time to collect his thoughts and start after her again. He sputtered and coughed a moment, still getting his breath back, and she glared down at him. “Don’t try that again,” she said coldly. He opened his mouth to say something, but only coughed. Quorra shook her head and pushed through the wall of people around them. They let her pass, apparently disheartened by their leader’s fall. Without another word, Quorra headed out of the mess and to the nearest elevator.
That's all from me! Thank you for indulging my nonsense, such as it is.
The two exercises I'm sharing from today are Point of View and Voice related, Exercises Seven and Eight in the book. Here's LeGuin's preface to Exercise Seven:
Think up a situation for a narrative sketch of 200-350 words. It can be anything you like but should involve several people doing something. [...] It doesn't have to be a big, important event, though it can be; but something should happen[...] Please use little or no dialogue in these POV exercises. While the characters talk, their voices cover the POV, and so you're not exploring that voice, which is the point of the exercise.
LeGuin later says that the same situation can be used for Exercise Eight, which is what I did. The situation I came up with involves my TRON/Pacific Rim crossover, which I've been poking at since 2019 or so? One of the stories in this crossover involves TRON character Quorra's quest to become a Jaeger pilot. This little scene follows a couple weeks after Quorra has a disastrous first Drift with another solo Ranger candidate, Ari Mendoza (an OC). Meanwhile, another candidate, Eddy Dickinson (also an OC), has been harboring a bit of a grudge against Quorra. He's young and a bit of a hothead and is convinced that Quorra's bad Drift with Ari means she's not fit for the program.
So. Here we go.
Exercise Seven, Part One: Two Voices: First: Tell your little story from a single POV, that of a participant in the event. Use limited third person. Second: retell the story from the POV of one of the other people involved in it. Again, use limited third person.
Quorra rolled her eyes at Dickinson’s rant. Just more of his usual nonsense, and nothing she was interested in listening to. She turned to go, only to find herself shoved back by a tight knot of other cadets. She stumbled, but kept her feet, looking up to see Dickinson squaring up against her, his fists raised and his expression intense.
So that’s what this was about. Quorra sighed, and mastered the urge to reach for the disc on her back that wasn’t there. She straightened, raising her own fists in turn, though she had no intention of landing a single punch. She raised her eyebrows, inviting him to make the first move.
The problem, Quorra thought wearily as she dodged his first punch, is he’s too young to have ever been in a bad fight. And he doesn’t know how to stop telegraphing his every move. She dodged a few more jabs easily, then feinted left. He fell for it, and Quorra dropped to the right, into a crouch. Before Dickinson could straighten, she swept one leg into his ankles to knock him down.
He hit the floor with a satisfying thud (and thankfully with no crack of a skull hitting concrete). Quorra stood up, locking her gaze with his. He looked bewildered, and maybe angry, too. “Don’t try that again,” she said. Then she shouldered through the ring of cadets surrounding them and walked out of the mess.
Eddy saw red for a moment when Flynn rolled her eyes. Lucky for him, they were surrounded by all his friends, and they shoved her back when she tried to leave, while Eddy shook out his shoulders and rolled his neck. He squared up, raising his fists, and glared at her so she’d know just who she was messing with. Cadets weren’t supposed to fight, but she should have been scratched weeks ago, and he needed the practice before he and Andi got their own Jaeger.
Flynn squared up, too, meeting his eyes with a glare that matched his own. Then she raised her eyebrows, and was that a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth? What a cocky bitch! Just for that, Eddy lunged in, aiming his first punch to knock that smile right off her face.
She dodged him, ducking just out of reach. Eddy lunged again, but again his fists found empty air. Then she raised her left arm; Eddy raised his arms to block her, but the blow he was expecting never came. He lowered his arms just in time to see her moving in the corner of his eyes, and then the world toppled around him.
He hit the concrete with enough force to knock the air out of his lungs. His vision blurred for a moment, and when he blinked, Flynn was standing above him. “Don’t try that again,” she said, then turned and walked away. Eddy could feel his face warming, and he grimaced, hoping the anger burning inside him was visible on every inch of his face. What a low-down bitch! All she’d proven was she couldn’t throw a punch. He’d show her. He’d show everyone why she didn’t deserve to be here.
Exercise Seven, Part Two: Detached Narrator: Tell the same story using the detached author or "fly on the wall" POV.
The female cadet rolls her eyes at the male cadet’s words. A dozen other cadets surround them in a tight circle, repelling her when she tries to walk away. The male cadet raises his fists, and after a moment, she does the same. She raises her eyebrows at him, and he lunges at her, one fist raised.
She dodges every punch he throws. Then the female cadet raises a fist, and when the male cadet blocks her, she drops to the floor. She kicks one leg out and sweeps it under his ankles.
The male cadet falls to the floor, on his back. The female cadet stands, tells him not to try that again, and pushes through the other cadets to leave the mess.
Exercise Seven, Part Three: Observer Narrator: If there wasn't a character in the original version who was there but was not a participant, add such a character now. Tell the same story in that character's voice, in first or third person.
Ari saw Quorra Flynn cross the mess, and avoided her gaze. But he couldn’t help but overhear Eddy Dickinson’s rant, and he looked up in time to see the kid’s friends gathering around him and Quorra. Well, that couldn’t be good.
With a resigned sigh, Ari got to his feet and ambled over to the knot of cadets. Through arms and over shoulders, he saw Dickinson squaring up, his fists raised and a crazy glint in his eyes. He almost moved to break it up before things got bad, but then Quorra raised her fists as well. Ari raised his eyebrows, then blinked as a foreign memory flitted across his mind. He’d thought the after effects of his aborted Drift with her were gone by now. No such luck, apparently. But he knew one thing now with absolute certainty: Dickinson had no chance of winning this fight.
Quorra had her back to him, but Ari could guess from Dickinson’s enraged expression that she’d done something to provoke him. He lunged forward with a fist up, but Quorra side-stepped him easily. Dickinson stumbled, but threw himself at her again, and again. Quorra still had her fists raised and ready, but she hadn’t thrown a single punch. She wouldn’t have to, Ari thought. She’s fought to stay alive for years, and dodging a young idiot who telegraphed his every move had to be like child’s play to her.
Ari spotted her feint at once; she’d used that move more than once when they sparred in the Kwoon, before the disastrous Drift. But Dickinson fell for it, blocking himself against a punch that wasn’t coming. Quorra dropped to a crouch, and in one motion swept Dickinson’s feet out from under him.
He hit the concrete with a satisfying thud. Ari grinned to himself, then turned and went back to his tray of food. No need to let her see he’d been watching. He still wasn’t sure he even liked her anymore, but damn if it wasn’t nice to see Eddy Dickinson get put in his place.
Exercise Seven, Part Four: Involved Author: Tell the same or a new story using the involved-author POV. Part Four may require you to expand the whole thing, up to two or three pages, 1000 words or so. You may find you need to give it a context, find out what led up to it, or follow it further.
Eddy Dickinson had been nursing a grudge against Quorra almost from the beginning. Other than the Becket brothers, Eddy and his sister Andi were the only other established pair in their cadet class. The Beckets were promoted weeks ago, and Eddy had taken it personally when Quorra Flynn and Ari Mendoza had been paired as the next likely Jaeger team. When Quorra and Ari’s first Drift had ended in disaster, Eddy thought for sure he and Andi would see the inside of a Jaeger. But weeks had passed with no such news, and Eddy was ready to blame it on someone. Quorra made a convenient target. She spoke oddly sometimes; she was over thirty. She’d even offered to help him with staff sparring, which he’d found insulting.
So it was no surprise Eddy confronted Quorra in the mess that afternoon. Quorra herself was only a little shocked; Eddy had made it clear, these last weeks, that he thought she should have been scratched from the cadets the moment she’d failed the test Drift. Still, she had no patience for his nonsense. She’d known from the moment she met him that he had a massive ego, and she was fairly certain that he had little to no actual connection with his sister, who was supposed to be his Drift partner. So Quorra rolled her eyes when he started in again, and tried to walk away.
She forgot to account for his other friends among the cadets. They had encircled Eddy and Quorra, and shoved Quorra back from her attempted exit. Quorra turned back to Eddy, who had his fists raised, ready to fight. He was eager for a fight, ready to show her just how powerful he was, and just how weak and unsuited she was for this program. His friends jeered and pulled close together, trapping Quorra and goading her to fight. Fighting among cadets was forbidden, of course, but Eddy thought his position as a cadet was largely secured, thanks to his sister. Quorra, on the other hand, had no partner, and it seemed to Eddy that another failure would bump her from the Ranger program for good. When she finally squared up, he hid his smirk of satisfaction. Maybe after this, he’d finally be rid of her. But when Quorra raised her eyebrows in challenge, Eddy let his temper get the best of him, and lunged in at once.
Quorra had one advantage over Eddy: she’d been in more fights than him. She knew how to face down one opponent, and she knew even better how to avoid getting hit. As he threw himself at her, she neatly side-stepped him. It certainly helped that he had no finesse; he indicated his next moves with all the subtlety of a neon sign. Quorra didn’t need to watch him closely to get out of the way of his fists. She had years (well, cycles) of experience at this, and instinct guided her moves, until she felt it was time to land a blow of her own.
She raised her left fist, and Eddy fell for the feint almost immediately. He raised his arms to block her blow, and Quorra took the opportunity to drop into a crouch. As Eddy realized she was no longer there, she swept one leg behind his ankles and knocked him onto his back, his body hitting the concrete with a meaty smack. Eddy gasped and choked, his wind knocked out, the shock of being bested only just registering to him. Quorra got to her feet and looked down at him. There was no triumph in her eyes, merely resignation.
“Don’t try that again,” Quorra said. She didn’t wait for him to catch his breath and formulate a response. Without another word, she pushed through his friends (all shocked at his defeat) and walked out of the mess. She didn’t care if she got in trouble. She knew more about her position with Marshall Jericho than Eddy did. She was fairly certain she was a lot more valuable to Jericho than a kid bully.
Exercise Eight: Changing Voices, Part One: Quick Shifts in Limited Third: A short narrative, 200-600 words. You can use one of the sketches from Exercise 7 or make up a new scene of the same kind: several people involved in the same activity or event. Tell the story using several different viewpoint characters (narrators) in limited third person, changing from one to another as the narrative proceeds. Mark the changes with line breaks, with the narrators name in parentheses, or with any device you like.
(Eddy) Eddy had been planning this for a week. He watched Quorra Flynn eat her lunch, then get up to return her tray. As she crossed the mess to the door, Eddy signaled to his friends and hurried to intercept her. It was time to give her a piece of his mind. Maybe then she’d finally understand that she didn’t belong here, and she’d pack up and run back home.
(Ari) He’d avoided watching Quorra cross the mess, but the distinct whine of Eddy Dickinson’s voice finally made Ari look her way. Dickinson stood in front of Quorra, carrying on about god knew what, while his usual pack of friends were slowly closing ranks around them. Ari sighed. That couldn’t be good. He knew a little too well that Quorra could hold her own in a fight. But fighting between cadets was forbidden, and while Ari didn’t disapprove of rule-breaking… he didn’t think Dickinson had it in him to hold his own. Ari stood up and started toward them.
(Quorra) Eddy’s friends shoved her back toward him, and Quorra had to work to stay upright. As she straightened up, Eddy raised his fists, a smirk on his face and a glint in his eye. So he wanted a fight, and Quorra’s avoidance of him these last two weeks had only increased his misplaced confidence. Quorra held back a sigh, then raised her fists as well. Eddy’s smirk widened into a grin. Then Quorra raised her eyebrows, inviting him to make the first move, and the young idiot fell for it.
(Ari) He had to hold back a laugh as Dickinson lunged for Quorra, one fist raised and an angry snarl on his face. She side-stepped him at once, and the kid had to scramble to keep from falling over. Ari shook his head and kept watching, amused more than concerned now. Dickinson had no technique and no finesse; he telegraphed his every move well in advance, making it easy for Quorra to avoid him. He knew Quorra knew how to fight, almost as well as he knew himself; their failed Drift from two weeks ago was still echoing through his mind. And he knew right now that she didn’t need to land a single blow to win this fight.
(Eddy) He was almost relieved when Flynn raised a fist; he’d been wondering when she was going to try to fight back. Eddy quickly moved to block her incoming blow, ducking his head and lifting his arms to guard himself further. But the blow he was expecting never came. Eddy blinked, then raised his head—and Flynn was nowhere to be seen. He saw something out of the corner of his eye, a swift motion. He looked down to see—and then the world toppled around him.
(Quorra) Eddy hit the floor with a meaty smack. Quorra stood up at once, dusting her hands off on her pants before she looked down at him. “Don’t try that again,” she said coldly. He glared up at her with malice in his eyes, and opened his mouth to say something. But she’d knocked out his breath, and whatever he wanted to say was lost in a cough. Quorra shook her head. She didn’t have to stay here for this. Without another word, she pushed through the ring of his friends and headed out the door. With any luck, he’d learned his lesson, but she rather doubted her luck these days.
Exercise Eight, Part Two: Thin Ice: In 300-1000 words, tell the same story or a new story of the same kind, deliberately shifting POV from character to character several times without any obvious signal to the reader that you're doing so.
Quorra had a great deal on her mind as she hurried out of the mess that afternoon. First and foremost was Caitlin Lightcap’s impending visit, the visit that would either make or break Quorra’s dreams of becoming a Jaeger pilot. Quorra hadn’t seen Sam since breakfast that morning, and while she was sure he had gotten Marshal DeWinter’s message, she wanted to talk to him about it. So she was thinking about stopping by in the J-tech lab to chat with him, and not remotely considering that anyone would stop her from leaving the mess.
When someone grabbed her arm, Quorra had to tamp down the urge to grab them back. She shook off her assailant, and turned to look down at the pale, sneering face of Eddy Dickinson. She didn’t know what his problem with her was, or why he’d escalated beyond rumor-mongering these last few weeks, but she could tell by the look on his face that he was about to explain himself at length. The thought of listening to him for that long made her cringe inside, and regardless, she had other places to be.
Quorra tried to walk away, but he grabbed her arm again and started in on her, his voice pitched loudly enough that the whole mess could hear. Ari Mendoza, seated against the wall in the middle of the room, heard, and found himself looking at Quorra for the first time in over a week. He’d seen her walk past on her way out, and deliberately avoided wondering where she was off to. But Dickinson’s trademark whine demanded attention, and now that he was looking their way, he could see Dickinson’s pack of friends and followers crowding around Quorra, penning her in with Dickinson. Something was going to happen, and while Ari didn’t disapprove of fighting like the Marshals did, he didn’t like the looks of what was going on over there. So he got up and began a slow meander towards the knot of people by the door.
By the time Ari arrived at the crowd, Dickinson had finished his rant and Quorra had tried to leave and been repulsed by a wall of people. Ari glanced over the shoulders of the crowd in time to see Dickinson squaring up, his fists raised and a crazy look in his eyes. He had to bite back a laugh; whatever Dickinson was planning to do here, he had not remotely thought it through. Even after one aborted Drift, Ari knew Quorra almost as well as he knew himself. And he knew better than most that she knew how to fight. Dickinson did not know what he was starting here.
At the moment, only Eddy knew what he was about, and that was showing Quorra Flynn that she wasn’t remotely special. She didn’t belong in the Jaeger program if she couldn’t get through a basic test Drift, and Eddy was about to show her the door. He grinned as she slowly put up her fists. He’d been trying to get her to defend herself for two weeks now, and now she finally saw she had no choice. She met his eyes, and he thought he could see a glimmer of her fear there. And then she raised her eyebrows, as though she was expecting him to go first. Eddy’s immediate thought was how cocky she was being, when he was about to kick her ass. So he decided to oblige her, and threw himself forward with one fist raised.
But then she suddenly wasn’t there. Eddy almost stumbled into the human wall around them. He caught himself just in time, and turned to see Flynn standing there, her fists up and her expression almost totally neutral. Eddy growled under his breath, and threw himself at her again, utterly unaware that he was fighting with all the careful subtlety of a neon sign. Ari could predict his every move just from the positions of his body. The kid had no finesse at all, and it was plain to him, at least, that Dickinson hadn’t been in a real fight once in his life. Quorra side-stepped his every attempt to punch her, and Ari again found himself fighting the urge to laugh. If Dickinson had any inclination to learn, Quorra could have taught him a great deal. But he seemed more concerned with landing a punch on her, and he was wearing himself out in the process.
Ari spotted Quorra’s feint at once; she’d used it often enough during their spars in the Kwoon. She raised her arm in an apparent jab, aimed right at Dickinson’s head, and Dickinson fell for it. He ducked his head and guarded himself with his arms, but Quorra was already dropping to the floor.
She kicked out with one leg, knocking Dickinson’s feet out from under him. Quorra took a small satisfaction in the meaty smack of his back hitting the concrete, and stood up before he had time to collect his thoughts and start after her again. He sputtered and coughed a moment, still getting his breath back, and she glared down at him. “Don’t try that again,” she said coldly. He opened his mouth to say something, but only coughed. Quorra shook her head and pushed through the wall of people around them. They let her pass, apparently disheartened by their leader’s fall. Without another word, Quorra headed out of the mess and to the nearest elevator.
That's all from me! Thank you for indulging my nonsense, such as it is.
