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finally feeling better
Aug. 14th, 2019 03:42 pmI mean, mostly. I am still occasionally having drainage and coughing as a result, but I don’t feel quite so scattered and out of it anymore, and my voice is finally (FINALLY) back to normal. I did go back to Urgent Care this past Friday and got yet another antibiotic that seems to have done the trick. Hopefully when I get on a plane this Friday, I will be uncongested enough to avoid any problems. Hopefully.
Speaking of getting on a plane Friday: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Which is to say, Anxiety Brain is in full swing, telling me all the things that could go wrong. Its topics range from oversleeping to delays that cause me to miss my connection. It’s all totally irrational, but... you know, trying telling that to Anxiety Brain. Anxiety Brain does not use earth logic.
So I’m having this freakout/meltdown over Friday and tomorrow I have to go stay in a hotel on my own for the first time ever so I don’t have to get up at the ass-crack of dawn to catch my flight. My parents made me a reservation for a hotel right next to the regional airport I’m leaving from, using my dad’s nearly infinite hotel points. My flight leaves at 7, if I get up at 5 I will probably be fine. I can set multiple alarms, I can get my mom and the front desk to give me wake up calls, I will be FINE.
But again: try telling that to Anxiety Brain.
IN OTHER NEWS:
- I started a crochet shawl last week that I gave up on earlier this week. The pattern was super unclear and looking at what few pictures were provided, I was pretty damn sure I was doing it wrong. So I frogged it, found a better pattern, and am merrily making my way through that.
- I read most of a book yesterday. Bad Blood, John Carreyrou. The book covers the rise and fall of Elizabeth Holmes and her Theranos biotech company. The whole story is bananas—there were many points throughout the book where I thought “if they make this into a movie, they can’t include this shit because no one would believe it really happened.” (And there are talks of a movie, or there were, when the HBO doc based loosely on this book came out this past spring.) Reading the book was like watching a slow motion trainwreck—one where the conductor and driver were actively driving the train over a broken bridge. You wonder why no one with sense stopped this—and then you read that anyone with sense who expressed the slightest bit of criticism was fired for “not being a team player.” It was, as I said, bananas. Carreyrou does a great job of portraying the disconnect between Holmes’ almost fantastical beliefs and reality.
- I have five more books out from the library. Two physical books and three ebooks. Physical are Maureen Johnson’s Truly Devious books, ebooks are as follows - Sparrow Hill Road, Seanan McGuire; Black Leopard, Red Wolf, Marlon James; and Descendant of the Crane, Joan He. I’ve got two weeks to read all of them, though I might be able to get away with renewing the physical books and possibly the McGuire.
- Still not writing, though this is mostly because I thought about it and my therapist’s idea to hold off until after I get back from my trip is a good one. I’m still exhausted from being sick, and I’ve got my trip to think/worry about. So waiting is better than trying to force it and hating myself for not writing anything, or writing “poorly.”
That’s all from me. Hope you all are doing well, as ever.
Speaking of getting on a plane Friday: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Which is to say, Anxiety Brain is in full swing, telling me all the things that could go wrong. Its topics range from oversleeping to delays that cause me to miss my connection. It’s all totally irrational, but... you know, trying telling that to Anxiety Brain. Anxiety Brain does not use earth logic.
So I’m having this freakout/meltdown over Friday and tomorrow I have to go stay in a hotel on my own for the first time ever so I don’t have to get up at the ass-crack of dawn to catch my flight. My parents made me a reservation for a hotel right next to the regional airport I’m leaving from, using my dad’s nearly infinite hotel points. My flight leaves at 7, if I get up at 5 I will probably be fine. I can set multiple alarms, I can get my mom and the front desk to give me wake up calls, I will be FINE.
But again: try telling that to Anxiety Brain.
IN OTHER NEWS:
- I started a crochet shawl last week that I gave up on earlier this week. The pattern was super unclear and looking at what few pictures were provided, I was pretty damn sure I was doing it wrong. So I frogged it, found a better pattern, and am merrily making my way through that.
- I read most of a book yesterday. Bad Blood, John Carreyrou. The book covers the rise and fall of Elizabeth Holmes and her Theranos biotech company. The whole story is bananas—there were many points throughout the book where I thought “if they make this into a movie, they can’t include this shit because no one would believe it really happened.” (And there are talks of a movie, or there were, when the HBO doc based loosely on this book came out this past spring.) Reading the book was like watching a slow motion trainwreck—one where the conductor and driver were actively driving the train over a broken bridge. You wonder why no one with sense stopped this—and then you read that anyone with sense who expressed the slightest bit of criticism was fired for “not being a team player.” It was, as I said, bananas. Carreyrou does a great job of portraying the disconnect between Holmes’ almost fantastical beliefs and reality.
- I have five more books out from the library. Two physical books and three ebooks. Physical are Maureen Johnson’s Truly Devious books, ebooks are as follows - Sparrow Hill Road, Seanan McGuire; Black Leopard, Red Wolf, Marlon James; and Descendant of the Crane, Joan He. I’ve got two weeks to read all of them, though I might be able to get away with renewing the physical books and possibly the McGuire.
- Still not writing, though this is mostly because I thought about it and my therapist’s idea to hold off until after I get back from my trip is a good one. I’m still exhausted from being sick, and I’ve got my trip to think/worry about. So waiting is better than trying to force it and hating myself for not writing anything, or writing “poorly.”
That’s all from me. Hope you all are doing well, as ever.
