nothing to see here

holi-daze 2025: xmas prep, phase 2

Tue, 23 Dec 2025 15:23:37 GMT

Imagine, please, that I have flopped into a colorless void of a room, wearing a t-shirt that says "I survived my self-inflicted holiday bake-a-thon and all I got was this stupid t-shirt (and also lots of cookies)".

I made it. I don't feel like my sanity is wholly intact, but I made it!! I also made peppermint bark, 2 dozen plain shortbread cookies, 2 dozen orange spice shortbread cookies, and 40 Mexican wedding cookies, not to mention chocolate Swiss meringue buttercream for a chocolate cake. It took five days in total, but I did it.

The chocolate Swiss meringue buttercream was maybe the most difficult thing on the list? I ended up wasting 2 egg whites, either because I messed something up or because I wasn't patient enough, I do not know which. I tempered the whites, started whipping them on my stand mixer, and they turned glossy and white, but were still soupy as hell. After like 10 or 15 minutes of whipping. So I poured them down the sink, washed all the needed dishes I'd put in the sink, and started over.

I had the same problem a second time, but decided to wait it out and keep whipping the damn egg whites. It took something like 40 whole minutes to get them to the desired volume and stiffness. This after thoroughly wiping down every bowl and utensil with vinegar to get rid of fat residue. The recipe said whipping the whites to stiff peaks would only take "1-2 minutes", but apparently I don't get that kind of courtesy from my egg whites. (And honestly, it could have been the fucking humidity in the kitchen!! I don't know!!!)

Anyway, the buttercream turned out delicious, so there's that.

The peppermint bark was easy, thank god. Melt the bittersweet chocolate, add peppermint extract and salt, spread it on a tray, melt the white chocolate, spread it over top of the first, swirl artistically with a skewer, add peppermint candy bits, and put in the fridge to set. Break it into pieces and store it in a bowl in the fridge! Easy!!

The shortbreads were rather time-consuming, it turns out. They also involved rolling out dough for cookie cutters, which I am notoriously bad at. (I tend to roll too thin, which makes for very crisp cookies that are maybe not as delicious as they could be.) That said! I managed to get the hang of the rolling out eventually. Both batches of dough yielded 2 dozen cookies each, which I cut into stars, snowflakes, and scallop-edged rounds. I made the plain shortbread on Saturday, and then dipped them in a simple glaze on Sunday and decorated them with colored sanding sugar. The orange spice shortbread was baked on Sunday, and yesterday I dipped those in an orange glaze, and decorated them with orange zest and gold and silver sanding sugar.

The Mexican wedding cookies were also time-consuming, a little? (Yesterday was kind of all over the place, to be honest.) Though the nice thing about these cookies is that you bake all of them at the same time--all 40 of them, on two different baking sheets. They also had to be rolled in powdered sugar twice after baking (though I kept a half-dozen aside to stay plain for my Dad, who likes cookies but is also type-2 diabetic).

But now! Everything is ready!!! I just have to get all the cookies (and the bark) sorted into treat bags and into the plastic tins I got, and then all my efforts will be complete!! There will probably be leftover cookies, too, so I might enjoy some of those today as well. :D

My parents and I also sat down yesterday and got pretty much all the gifts wrapped and put under the tree! So we are pretty much ready for Xmas!! My brother and SIL and Dearest Nephew are coming up tomorrow afternoon, and it's gonna be a good time!! :D

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holi-daze 2025: xmas prep, phase 1

Wed, 17 Dec 2025 19:43:24 GMT

So it's a week til Xmas. I have managed to get gifts for all the kiddos, which leaves the gifts for the adults. The last few years, I've opted to bake cookies and treats for everyone, rather than trying to buy presents and get everything shipped here in time and so on.

So.

I've got cookies to bake and treats to make, and I fear I may have bitten off more than I can chew.

For starters, and utterly unrelated to my gift-baking, Mom has a work potluck on Friday. It's a finger foods, appetizers, and desserts potluck, and Mom offered to bring chocolate cake. She uses her grandmother's recipe, which is very tasty; she made it for Younger Niece's birthday a couple years ago. Also a couple years ago, I made a chocolate Swiss meringue buttercream to put on said cake, which made the whole ensemble a huge hit.

I offered once again to make the Swiss meringue buttercream for the potluck cake. We are going to bake the cake tonight, and then tomorrow I will make the buttercream, and Mom will frost the cake with it, and take it to work on Friday and hurrah. It will probably take a while to make the buttercream (egg whites and I do not get along sometimes), but hopefully it'll all turn out all right.

Which brings me to my holiday baking efforts. My initial plan was to bake Mexican wedding cookies (from a cookbook I got a few years ago), and make some peppermint bark, and be done with it. Then I got to thinking about making something else... maybe some orange spice shortbread? I had a recipe for my Celtic knot shortbread pan, but I wasn't sure how to translate that to a more traditional cookie. To the internet!

I found a recipe for cutout shortbread cookies, with an orange spice variation, as well as a separate orange glaze recipe for shortbread cookies. Success! And then I got to thinking about the fact that there are always more cookies than fit into the adults' gift boxes. And I realized I did not have a non-spiced cookie on offer, should any of the kiddos want a cookie. This is important because Younger Niece does not like cinnamon, and cinnamon is in both the cookie recipes.

(This is a long-standing dislike on Younger Niece's part. She was maybe 1 or 1.5 years old when we gave her a cinnamon applesauce pouch for breakfast one morning. She refused to eat it. It might have happened once or twice more until I figured out that she was not partial to cinnamon, and her dislike has continued ever since. So I like to keep dessert options open for her on holidays; we've started getting a chocolate silk pie for her on Thanksgiving, for example. She's been willing to try things with cinnamon, too, just to see if her taste buds have changed enough to remove the dislike, but to no avail.)

So I decided I could make another batch of the cutout shortbread cookies without the orange spice variation, and then there would be cookies for everyone!!

Unfortunately, now my baking schedule for the next week looks like this:

December 17: help Mom bake chocolate cake

December 18: make chocolate Swiss meringue buttercream for chocolate cake

December 19: make peppermint bark

December 20: make plain shortbread cookies

December 21: make orange spice shortbread cookies; decorate plain shortbread with simple glaze

December 22: make Mexican wedding cookies; decorate orange spice shortbread with orange glaze

December 23: assemble gift boxes with all treats

I'm gonna be BUSY.

I'm debating whether to make the peppermint bark tomorrow, maybe? I'm not planning to make the buttercream until the evening, mostly so Mom can use it to ice the cake right away, and I don't have to worry about storing it in the fridge or whatever until she gets home from work. Peppermint bark is pretty simple, honestly, and it wouldn't take too much time to put together.

I don't know. I'll keep you all posted on the results of my efforts, I guess!!

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Writing Updates 2025, Week 49

Sun, 07 Dec 2025 14:30:53 GMT

Days Written (This Week): 1 day
Days Written (This Month): 1 day
Days Written (2025 Total): 132 days

Words Written (This Week): 570 words
Words Written (This Month): 570 words
Words Written (2025 Total): 66,659 words

First Line (Written This Week): (This is a sketch from my Beauty and the Beast retelling.) She doesn't know what else to do, except call the police, and even she knows they're probably busy with actual emergencies tonight.

Last Line (Written This Week): (Different sketch from same BatB retelling.) There was no one here, except the Beast, and there was hardly anything fey or magical about him, other than his appearance. And land couldn't hold magic in like this, not by itself.

Favorite Line (Written This Week): (A sketch from TRON fic prequel-to-The-Outpost thing.) He keeps walking. He's fortunate enough to find the occasional energy spring, and more fortunate still that the weather stays clear, for there is no shelter on these vast plains.

As he walks, he is achingly aware of how alone he is. There's no one to talk to, no one to hear him speak, so he stays silent.

Other Stuff: I wrote actual prose this week! Which is something I am trying to see as a positive, because this week has really been a struggle for me in a variety of other ways. My sleep's been a little screwed up, for one thing, and I think I'm still trying to recover from the endless hustle of getting through Thanksgiving? I have been so tired this week, and that seems like the only reasonable explanation.

I managed to sit down on Thursday and write some sketches, though! So that's good! I think my issue right now is that my enthusiasm for working on a particular story has kind of evaporated (hence the sketches), and I'm just not sure what to do with myself for the rest of the year. I always have a big burst of creative energy when the new year starts, and it's like I'm stuck in Anticipation Mode, waiting for it to be "acceptable" to really buckle down and work on a specific story. This is deeply annoying, and probably something I should work on getting around.

Hoping, as usual, to write at least 1 day this week. I've only got 3 days left to write to hit my modified year-end goal of 135 days. I'm pretty sure I'll at least be able to manage that, though I'd like to write 1 or 2 days more if I can manage it. I'm still not sure what project to work on, though with January coming up, I probably need to start poking at The Outpost again. (I update it every year in January, and I've reached the point where I'm basically out of buffer--this past January I posted the first scene of the next chapter, because said chapter still isn't done. If nothing else, I need to get the next scene polished and ready, but I'd really like to start making forward progress on it again. :///)

Anyway. Here's to a better (or at least somewhat good) week!

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Writing Updates 2025, Week 48

Sun, 30 Nov 2025 13:48:49 GMT

Days Written (This Week): 1 day
Days Written (This Month): 6 days
Days Written (2025 Total): 131 days

Words Written (This Week): 2,088 words
Words Written (This Month): 4,068 words
Words Written (2025 Total): 66,089 words

First Line (Written This Week): N/A

Last Line (Written This Week): N/A

Favorite Line (Written This Week): N/A

Other Stuff: So I ended up writing something on Monday! I sat down for a couple hours and banged out some very self-indulgent original fiction, just because I felt like it. I'm not planning on sharing it anywhere (hence no snippets), but it was very nice to write something for just me. It made a nice change of pace, for one thing, though I would like to get back into working on that prequel TRON fic I've been poking at all month.

I'm also glad I was able to do one day of writing, especially since the rest of last week was ridiculously busy--first with the Thanksgiving holiday, and then with me recovering from Thanksgiving. And I'm not sure I'm done with the recovery phase of things yet, either.

For this week, I'm hoping to write on at least 1 day? I only have to write 4 days in December to reach my modified GYWO goal of 135 days, but I'd like to at least keep the writing train going, if that makes sense. I'm hoping I can dive back into that TRON fic (or any TRON fic), and maybe make some good progress on that. Here's to a good week!

(Unrelated--okay, semi-related--but how are we entering the last month of the year?! I swear this year just got started, but here it is almost over already!! Curse the inexorable forward march of time!!!)

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holi-daze 2025: Thanksgiving, part the first

Fri, 28 Nov 2025 20:23:27 GMT

American Thanksgiving was yesterday. I had a nice time with my family; played a board game with my brother and SIL; hung out with my nephew a little; everyone enjoyed my pumpkin pie who tried it; and at the end of the day I was so exhausted I could have fallen asleep at 7:30pm and been very happy.

More details on that later, but first: the Pie-Making.

I always make the pumpkin pie on Wednesday, so it has time to cool and everything before Thanksgiving. I was using the pumpkin pie recipe I tried out earlier this month [link], and everything was going swimmingly, except that I forgot to melt the 2 Tablespoons of butter I needed to add in the last phase of making the filling. So I melted the butter in the microwave really quick (and kind of overheated it, because the microwave's Melt Butter setting only works in terms of 1 or 2 sticks of butter--and a stick is 8 Tablespoons of butter!). And then, without thinking, I added the hot butter to the filling mixture.

The filling, at this point, contained one very well beaten in egg. I added the hot butter, and there was a... smell. A kind of... eggy smell. And then as I continued with the recipe, adding the milk to the filling mixture, I noticed little... particles, clinging to the sides of the bowl.

I had scrambled the egg.

A desperate part of me said, "You don't know that the pie is ruined!! It might be, but you'll only know if you bake it!!" So I baked the pie, but I was pretty damn sure I'd ruined it, in texture if not in taste. And the graham cracker crust I used was the only one I had.

Which meant I had to go to the grocery store.

In the middle of the afternoon.

On the day.

before.

Thanksgiving.

I put the probably-ruined pie in the oven, and cleaned up a little, and then headed to the store. It was, predictably, a madhouse, but I was only there for one thing (well, two things; I bought a little bag of Lindt white chocolate peppermint truffles because I was Going Through It and I needed a Little Treat, goddammit), so I got in and out pretty quickly. I think it helped that I went at about 1:30pm, which was well before anyone would be getting off work for the day.

Anyway, I got home. Took a little fifteen minute break for my sanity. After that, I had to wash pretty much every measuring cup and mixing bowl I had used by hand, so I could go about making the second pie. I took another little break, because lord knows I needed it, and in the meantime, the first pie finished up in the oven.

It did not puff up like my test run pie did earlier in the month; there were a few little bubbles, but nothing more than that. I let it cool for a little while, then took a spoon and scooped out a little bit of the filling as delicately as I could (so... not very delicately at all). The filling tasted fine, and while the mouth-feel texture was more or less okay, the visual texture was weirdly grainy, and nothing like the smoothness I'd seen in the test run pie.

This made me feel better about my decision to make another pie, and I commenced with that immediately.

(The second time, I melted the butter first.)

Things went much better the second time around: I didn't scramble the egg, for one thing. I made sure to scrape the bottom of my stand mixer bowl halfway through adding the milk (Attempt #1 had a clump of the pre-milk filling mixture glommed onto the bottom where the whisk couldn't reach). The pie puffed up in the oven just like the test run pie had! I did know how to bake a pie!!

The ultimate vindication, however, came that evening, when Mom and Dad both decided to have a slice of the Attempt #1 pie. I went to cut the pie--and the filling stuck to the knife, coming up out of the pie in big, grainy-looking clumps. The test run pie hadn't done that; I was right that the scrambled egg had messed things up.

(I was even more vindicated Thanksgiving night, when I sliced the Attempt #2 pie and none of the filling stuck to the knife.)

(Thanks for reading!!)

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In other news: I made a pie!!

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 15:29:40 GMT

So here a few weeks ago, I saw a recipe for pumpkin pie on Tumblr.

Now, while I am a baker and I generally bake things that I enjoy eating, I have, in the last several years, grown to dislike pumpkin pie. I've almost always used the recipe that comes on the Libby's can of pumpkin puree ([link]), and it is my opinion that that recipe is... not good. I think it's a texture thing for me, honestly. I don't like that the spices aren't very strong, and the texture is like if the word "clammy" had a taste.

So I've tried, over the last 18 years or so, to find alternative recipes. For a couple years I made an icebox pumpkin pie that used vanilla pudding and Cool Whip ([link]). That one was okay, though the spices once again didn't really pop. I also tried 2 or 3 years ago, an alternate recipe from the can of puree that included sweetened condensed milk for a sweeter pie, but ran into pretty much the same texture problems.

And then I saw this recipe for Pumpkin Pudding Pie with Orange Zest and Cardamom Whipped Cream [link]. It was created/written by Demi Adejuyigbe, a comedian who is probably most well-known for his series of videos with Earth, Wind & Fire's song "September" (here is a [link] to one of them). Someone on Tumblr was kind enough to transcribe the recipe into actual text that could be copied, and I took that and printed it out to take a proper look at it.

First off, the recipe as-is is for "~3 pies", which is a lot of pie. So the first thing I did before I prepared to make it was halve all the ingredients for the filling. (The only one that was a little tricky was halving the 15oz. can of pumpkin. Those 15oz. cans have, according to the lab, seven 1/4-cup servings--so it was just a matter of halving 7/4 and doing a conversion to a different measure.) That made enough filling to fill the graham cracker crust up, with a little bit left over. I opted to keep the whipped cream recipe the same, since we all love whipped cream in my family. I used a store-bought graham cracker crust, and baked the pie itself on this past Friday.

There were a few snags in preparation (mostly just consequences of adding things in all at once instead of gradually), but pie was accomplished! It rose a lot in the oven, but didn't spill over (and it also deflated a little as it cooled). I didn't finish it up until Saturday night, because we were doing a Thanksgiving dry run (essentially; we had a frozen turkey from last year that needed eating). The cardamom whipped cream worked up quickly, and I added the garnishes before serving.

Pie pictures under here!!

ID: A pumpkin pie sitting on a wooden table. The pie is dusted with powdered sugar and garnished with many pieces of orange zest. END ID.

ID: A slice of pumpkin pie in a bright purple bowl. The slice of pie mostly covered by a large dollop of whipped cream. Just visible in the whipped cream are flecks of spices. It looks delicious. END ID.

The pie was amazing. The texture wasn't as weird as regular pumpkin pie; it was more bread-y, but still moist, and kind of thick (I'd taken a few bites before I realized I needed a glass of milk!). The cardamom whipped cream really enhanced the flavor of the whole thing, and the orange zest added a lovely brightness to the overall flavor that really elevated it. (I had another slice yesterday, too; the flavor was still good with the whipped cream [which I'd refrigerated], though the orange zest flavor was a little reduced.)

My mom and my sister really liked the pie; Dad thought it was okay (he said the texture wasn't as smooth as normal pumpkin pie). So I'm probably going to make this pie again for Thanksgiving!! I am probably going to double the whipped cream recipe, though; we are a whipped cream-loving family, as I said, and there's going to be more of us at Thanksgiving.

Without further ado, here is the recipe with the halved filling ingredients. (Sorry to those of you who use metric; I didn't think to weigh my ingredients as I went through the recipe!! I will try to do that on my next go-round!!)

The recipe!!

Pumpkin Pudding Pie w/ Orange Zest and Cardamom Whipped Cream (from Demi Adejuyigbe) [filling halved from original]

1-1/4 cup sugar
3/4 cup + 2 Tablespoons pumpkin puree
1 egg
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon vanilla
Pinch of salt
1-1/4 cup milk
2 Tablespoons melted butter

Powdered sugar
Zest of 1 orange

1 cup heavy cream
2 Tablespoons powdered sugar
1 teaspoon cardamom
Pinch of nutmeg

1 prepared pie crust (pastry or graham cracker)

For pie:
Preheat oven to 325F.

Beat pumpkin puree and egg together in large mixing bowl (if using stand mixer, use paddle attachment). Add sugar and baking soda; blend well.

In a small bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, cinnamon, and salt. Add flour mixture and vanilla to pumpkin mixture; blend until well-mixed.

Add melted butter. Gradually add milk, whisking until all ingredients are blended together. Pour batter into prepared pie crust. Batter will be more liquid than solid, but will solidify and rise in oven.

Bake in prepared oven for 55 minutes. Remove from oven and cool completely. Top with sifted powdered sugar and orange zest.

For whipped cream:
Place metal mixing bowl and whisk in freezer for at least 15 minutes.

Whisk powdered sugar, cardamom, and nutmeg together in bowl. Add heavy cream and whisk until stiff peaks form. Serve on cooled pie.

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Crochet Mushroom Photos!!

Wed, 22 Oct 2025 17:44:01 GMT

In my previous entry [link], I mentioned that I made six different little crochet mushroom guys over the last few weeks. I said I would post some photos soon, and here is that post!!

Photos behind here!!

ID: A crochet mushroom (Mushroom #1) sits on a purple patterned desk mat. The mushroom has a tan body and small nubbin feet, but no arms, as well as a dark brown lobed cap that resembles a morel mushroom. Its eyes are small and black and sit a few rows below where the cap begins. END ID

ID: Two crochet mushrooms (Mushroom #2 and Mushroom #3) sit together on a purple patterned desk mat. The mushroom on the left has a tan body and a large chartreuse cap that is tipped back so its face is visible. It has two nubbin feet and two small arms, and its eyes are small and black, positioned a few rows below the cap. The top of its cap is not visible, but the underside shows gills in tan, and a ring of chartreuse where the cap flares out. The mushroom on the right is smaller, with an off-white body and nubbin arms and feet. It has a tall, rounded cap that is purple in two different shades--one very light shade and one medium shade. The mushroom's eyes are small and black, and sit just below where its cap begins. END ID

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ID: A crochet mushroom (Mushroom #4) sits on a purple patterned desk mat. Its body is off-white, and it has two large feet that stick out straight from its body, as well as two small arms. It has small black eyes that sit a few rows below its cap, which is a confetti of rainbow colors. The cap of the mushroom is tall, flaring up in a bell shape before it narrows and forms a crooked hook shape. END ID

ID: A crochet mushroom (Mushroom #5) sits on a purple patterned desk mat. Its body is off white, and it has two nubbin feet and no arms at all. Its eyes are small and black, and positioned several rows below where its cap begins. The cap of the mushroom is three different shades of purple--a light purple, a medium purple, and a very dark purple--and its shape resembles a crooked witch's hat. The cap begins at the bottom as a cone shape, and as it narrows, it switches back and forth a couple of times before ending in a narrow point. END ID

ID: A crochet mushroom (Mushroom #6) sits on a purple patterned desk mat. Its body is bright white, with small nubbin feet and two long arms that hang down to its feet. It has small, black eyes that are positioned several rows below where its cap begins. The mushroom's cap is a wide dome, colored red with bright white spots scattered across it. The cap is tipped back a little to reveal the mushroom's face. END ID

ID: The six different crochet mushrooms sit on a purple patterned desk mat. The front row has Mushroom #3 (small purple cap). The back row, from left to right: Mushroom #1 (morel); Mushroom #4 (rainbow cap); Mushroom #5 (tall purple cap); Mushroom #2 (wide chartreuse cap); and Mushroom #6 (red and white dotted cap). END ID

All the mushrooms were made from patterns by Megan Lapp, aka Crafty Intentions. Hope you all like them!! :D

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TRON: Ares - Some Thoughts. (Not all of them. But some of them.)

Sat, 11 Oct 2025 21:28:50 GMT

So I saw TRON: Ares on Thursday afternoon. I presented my free ticket at the counter (and got a ticket stub, to my delight!) (I have almost all my movie ticket stubs from the last... 21 years? I think? saved in a scrapbook). I took my usual seat in the theater (2 or 3 rows from the back, on the far left side as you look at the screen). I thought (hoped!) that I might be alone for the screening, but some other people filed in: a family of four, another person seeing it alone.

And seven.
fucking.
teenagers.

Which I would not have had a problem with, if it had been obvious that they were there to see the movie. They made it apparent over the following two hours that they were not there to see the movie. They were there to socialize in whispers, and constantly change seats in the back row, and twice (!!) use their phone flashlights (!!!!!) to find stuff in the dark. At one point during the film I had to hiss at them to shut up.

And like, I get it? I guess? It's fall break this week. They're going back to school on Monday, they've probably been driving their parents nuts all week, and they were at the mall to hang out with friends and get out of their parents' hair and whatever. But the fact that they were not interested in demonstrating the slightest bit of movie theater etiquette kind of drove me up the fucking wall. And I already wasn't looking forward to this movie, and I feel like their constant tittering behind me left me feeling even less charitable towards TRON: Ares than I'd felt when I walked in.

And so. That is the scene set for my viewing of TRON: Ares. I was full of dread and trepidation to start with, and then the addition of seven whispering teens started filling me up with annoyance as the film moved through its runtime.

Here is what I thought of TRON: Ares.

( SPOILERS AHEAD. )

So that's that.

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The Problem with the TRON: Ares Teaser

Sun, 06 Apr 2025 19:42:08 GMT

Or maybe more accurately, the problems (emphasis on the 's' there). I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about the teaser trailer for Ares (watchable here [link]), and all the little things it implies that the film will be about, but my primary issue is this: so far, all it is, is "cool". I know it's just a teaser, and that its primary function is to tease what's to come, but still.

If you watch the teaser for TRON: Legacy (watchable here on a Disney site [link], though it might not be viewable outside the US, sorry!!), there are more hints there of story and character elements than we get in the Ares teaser. The Legacy trailer gives us a semblance of a story--Kevin Flynn is missing, and his son Sam must find him in the digital world--and a little bit of character to Sam, who is clearly jaded and somewhat adrift in his life. There's at least something there to emotionally connect with, a reason to care about the film outside of its flashy digital effects.

In comparison, the only character I felt connected to in the Ares trailer was Greta Lee's character, and her few shots just show her staring in fear and running away. The voice-over dialogue from Leto's Ares and Jeff Bridges' cameo as Kevin Flynn is scant and lacks context. There's no reason to care about what they say, because we don't even know what they're talking about. The visual effects are pretty cool, but that's about the only thing the teaser offers as a reason to see this film. It's all style and no substance, and that makes me worry that the whole film is going to be the same way.

The only real story element the teaser introduces is "programs are invading the real world", which itself implies that programs want to invade reality. It portrays programs as a mindless invading force, which is a far cry how they have been portrayed in the previous films.

(On that note, I want to mention this: some of the casting announcements for Ares early on included a mini-synopsis that talked about Leto's Ares character being a "sentient program", which is utterly baffling for anyone familiar with the franchise. I will note that said mini-synopsis has apparently vanished from all those casting announcements, but I distinctly remember it being there, and I wonder if Disney made Variety, et al, remove it from their articles because it revealed too much about the film.)

Every piece of TRON media up to this point has portrayed all programs as sentient, all the way back to the original 1982 film. In TRON, Sark expresses doubts about the MCP's plans; Tron grieves the loss of Ram and Flynn; in a deleted scene, Yori has a secret apartment that she's decorated herself. Legacy and the animated series Uprising do the same thing--Zuse in Legacy goes from helping Isos to collaborating with Clu, and every character in Uprising is portrayed as a full person with their own thoughts and motivations. On the other hand, this initial teaser for Ares seems quite content to portray programs as mindless bad guys. There isn't a single program shown without red circuitry, which has been used as a shorthand for the antagonists in TRON stories ever since the '82 film, not to mention the color's villainous connotations in countless other properties.

Another worrying aspect of this teaser for me is the implication that this film will be entirely set in the real world. Everything we see is apparently set in our ordinary reality. While that's not necessarily a bad thing, it makes me feel like the writers and or the studio have completely missed the point of the whole franchise.

The point of TRON as a universe is that the Computer World, while dangerous, contains a multitude of possibilities. The Computer World is both beautiful and strange, offering a view of things like nothing on Earth. The programs that populate it are beings with their own lives, with beliefs and desires and feelings and friendships just like humans have. And it seems to me that Ares is rejecting that idea completely in favor of a tired story about the dangers of technology and "artificial" "intelligence." Which is truly the opposite of what TRON is actually about.

And I'm aware that we don't know the actual story of Ares yet--as I said, the teaser offered hardly any hint of it--but from what little info has come out, the "technology wants to invade and or supplant us" story seems like a distinct possibility. There might be a dash of a Pinocchio-type story as well--a program (Leto) "develops" "sentience" and "becomes" a "person" (scare quotes here because programs are already sentient)--but that's just a guess on my part right now.

Those are the main issues I have with Ares right now. I have wanted a TRON 3 since Legacy came out, but I've been increasingly nervous about Ares ever since it was announced. The casting of Jared Leto has not inspired confidence in me, nor has the passing-over of Bruce Boxleitner for a cameo as Tron or Alan Bradley. I want to be excited about this film--there are going to be like four female characters! two composers I like are doing the soundtrack!--but there is just too much that's keeping me on the side of trepidation. And I'm very worried I might actually be right about some of this.

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Greetings! v.2025

Wed, 01 Jan 2025 15:48:51 GMT

Basics:
Name: Skye
Pronouns: she/her
Age: mid-30s
Location: Mid-Southern United States

About Me

I am a neurodivergent woman living at home due to mental illness. I earned a bachelor’s in creative writing, with a minor in film studies, several years ago. I have enjoyed reading books and writing fiction since childhood, and I also enjoy watching films and television when I have the time. Some of my other hobbies include working in various fiber arts (mostly crochet and cross-stitch, with occasional knitting), playing video games, and baking sweets.

I currently use this journal to update folks on what’s going on in my life. As such, most entries are locked to just my access list. If you want to make friends, that’s cool; just drop a comment on this entry and I’ll check you out!

One of the things I don’t generally post about very much is fandom-related stuff. I’ve been burned by toxic fandoms in the past (Danny Phantom and Doctor Who, for the curious), so I don’t count myself as an active participant in fannish activities these days. That said, I do still write fanfiction, and I enjoy rambling about my books and shows and movies from time to time.

My primary fannish interests lie in TRON these days, but I have written fanfic for Doctor Who and Pacific Rim in the past. I mostly just write TRON fic these days, though, and most of my fic from fandoms past and current can be found on Archive of Our Own (here is a [link] to my profile).

I don’t talk politics very often, but let it be known that I am a flaming liberal who does not truck with TERFs/SWERFs, Nazis, white supremacists/nationalists, misogynists, queerphobes of all varieties, antisemites, Islamophobes, racists, or general dickheads of any political stripe. Miss me with that shit.

Favorites:

Books
Authors: Robin McKinley (favorites include The Blue Sword, Pegasus, and Dragonhaven); Tamora Pierce (Protector of the Small quartet, especially Squire); Terry Pratchett (Feet of Clay, Going Postal, Thud!); Garth Nix (The Old Kingdom series, especially Lirael and Abhorsen)
Books/Series: The Anthropocene Reviewed, John Green; The Goblin Emperor, Katherine Addison; Iron Widow, Xiran Jay Zhao; The Murderbot Diaries, Martha Wells (especially Network Effect)

Movies
Beauty and the Beast (1991), My Neighbor Totoro, Pacific Rim, TRON, TRON: Legacy, The Grand Budapest Hotel, WALL-E, Crimson Peak, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Children of Men, The Fall (2006), Chungking Express, Run Lola Run, Into the Spider-verse & Across the Spider-verse; Star Wars in general (faves include Star Wars (1977), The Empire Strikes Back and The Last Jedi)

Television
Live Action: Pushing Daisies, Doctor Who (2005), Jekyll*. I have enjoyed but not finished: Community, Parks and Recreation, Agents of SHIELD
Animation: Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Legend of Korra, Steven Universe, TRON: Uprising. I have enjoyed but not finished: Adventure Time, Young Justice, My Adventures with Superman

* I like most of Steven Moffat's work that I've seen, including his run on Doctor Who. (More lukewarm towards Sherlock, honestly.) I do not want to hear about how he's Terrible, Actually; I know all the arguments and I'm aware of them, but I have no intention of justifying my likes to strangers.

Music
I listen to a wide variety of genres and bands. I have a penchant for soundtracks (movies, TV, video games, you name it), as well as some dance and electronica, and some pop and alternative, too.
Bands/Artists: Daft Punk, Janelle Monáe, The Glitch Mob, Florence + the Machine, Pomplamoose, They Might Be Giants, Caravan Palace
Composers: John Williams, Michael Giacchino, Thomas Newman, Louie Zong, Joe Hisaishi
Albums: Discovery, Daft Punk; TRON: Legacy soundtrack, Daft Punk; How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful, Florence + the Machine; The Electric Lady, Janelle Monáe; WALL-E soundtrack, Thomas Newman; Cosmos, Louie Zong; Spirited Away soundtrack, Joe Hisaishi; Stardew Valley soundtrack, ConcernedApe (Eric Barone)

Video Games
For the most part, I play a lot of Animal Crossing (all New Horizons these days, but I also loved New Leaf) and Pokémon (Gen IV to present). I am also a fan of the Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons series, Stardew Valley, and Spiritfarer. I’m a big Legend of Zelda fan, but mostly by dint of watching other people play (I am terrible at fighting things, so… yeah).

So that's me. Again, if you want to make friends, just drop a comment on this entry and I'll check you out!!

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Original Fiction: Caught Between the Sea and the Stars

Fri, 04 Oct 2024 13:35:30 GMT

Title: Caught Between the Sea and the Stars
Author: skye_writer
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 4,543 words
Summary: Ana spends an evening on the waves with her mermaid friend, Shae.
Notes: Written for getyourwordsout 's Build-A-Bingo challenge (prompt: "heatwave"). These characters are from my (currently unwritten) Little Mermaid Retelling. I hope you enjoy.

August has settled in the seaside town...

August has settled in the seaside town like a heavy winter coat. The thick, humid air sticks to people, drawing out sweat but offering no relief from it; what little wind comes off the ocean is not enough to keep anyone cool. Those who can afford personal breeze charms buy them in droves, never mind if the charm-maker is taking their cash in exchange for something that will work for two hours at most. The sky remains cheerfully blue all day, the few clouds far too thin and wispy to offer any respite from the sun. Even as the sunset paints the sky brilliant shades of orange and red, heat continues to rise off the pavement, turning the town into a slowly cooling oven. Tourists and locals alike make for the boardwalk and the pier, where proximity to the ocean offers at least a little respite.

Ana shoulders her way through the boardwalk crowds with practiced ease, her wavy hair plastered to her forehead with sweat. The crowd thins considerably at the access to the pier, and she continues on until she reaches the public docks, where the few people are boat owners, all of whom know Ana by sight. She nods at those who greet her, and continues down the docks to her destination.

She’s spent all day at her job on a whale-watching boat, keeping tourists from leaning too far over the side rail and offering food to the seagulls. It’s thankless work, especially on a day like today, but she survived. She’s been looking forward to tonight. As she walks down the farthest-out dock, she touches a jagged shard of sea glass that hangs around her neck on a carefully-made chain.

Anyone with a talent for seeing thaumic energies would know at once what was hanging around Ana’s neck: a charm imbued not with human magic, but with the esoteric magic of the seas. Said person might draw any number of conclusions about Ana with that information, but the truth is simple enough: Ana has a best friend, and that friend is a mermaid.

Ana reaches the end of the last dock, where a barnacle-crusted ladder hangs down a few feet into the water. With one hand still on the sea glass charm, she kneels and knocks on the last plank of the dock five times.

A few moments later, the water bubbles loudly, and Ana peers down just as a pale face framed by yellow hair and iridescent scales pops above the surface.

The mermaid smiles carefully when her sea-green eyes meet Ana’s, and Ana grins back. Around her neck she wears a necklace that is the twin to Ana’s, the sea glass the same color, and jagged in a way that suggests the two pieces would fit together. She puts a webbed hand on the lowest visible rung of the ladder, and says, “I thought you were going to be late.”

“Good to see you, too, Shae,” Ana replies, laughing. “Look, it’s been a long day, all right?”

Shae laughs. “I wasn’t going to argue the point! I gathered as much from your message. Are you ready to swim?”

“Oh, I’ve been ready all day.” Ana stands and peels off her work shirt, then unties the strings down the side of her skirt, revealing her bathing suit underneath. She kicks off her sandals, then folds her clothes and lays them neatly on the edge of the dock, her sandals beneath them. “I had to stay in the ticket office the last half of my shift, which would have been fine if the AC hadn’t broken the other day. It’s been so hot here lately, it’s ridiculous.”

“Well, the ocean’s always cooler,” Shae says.

“That, my friend, is what I’m counting on.” She starts down the ladder, and Shae swims aside to give her room. As her legs and then her torso enter the water, Ana sighs in relief. “God, that feels good. And it’s better farther out, right?”

“As always,” Shae assures her. As Ana lets go of the ladder, Shae offers her hand, and Ana takes it. “Let’s swim?”

“Let’s,” Ana agrees.

And without another word, Shae tugs her away from the dock, and together they set out for deeper waters.

Their destination this evening, like many other evenings, is the boundary stone, a lonely rock that juts out of the ocean about ten yards north-northeast of the town’s main pier. The stone is avoided by seabirds despite its closeness to the shore, for it serves as a magical anchor of sorts. The local merfolk village and the thaumic studies department of the local college use the stone as a boundary marker. It defines the influence of their opposing magics, and anchors that separation in earth and sea. As far as Shae and Ana are concerned, though, it’s a perfect place for a human girl and her mermaid friend to enjoy each other’s company.

As the sun makes its way to the horizon, Shae and Ana talk about their time apart. It’s been four days since they last saw each other, which seems like an eternity. Ana complains a little about her job, and Shae listens and makes comments here and there. Ana alternates between treading water beside Shae, and sitting up on the rock, her feet in the water. Shae stays in the water; they’re not so far from the pier that they can’t be seen, and sightings of merfolk always tend to draw curious eyes.

Eventually, the sun sets beyond the horizon, and the ruddy sky darkens to a bluish gray. The stars are starting to appear, slightly drowned out by the proximity of the town and its lights. The brightest of them are peeking out, though, looking down on Shae and Ana as they float near the boundary stone.

Shae steals a glance at Ana, admiring her dark profile in the dying light. They have been friends since they were children, when Shae saved Ana from a riptide, and the human news channel did a story about it. They practically grew up together, and for all that they are from utterly different worlds, Shae has loved her as a sister for all that time.

But it’s only in the last year that Shae has realized that her affection has become coupled with attraction. She loves Ana, yes, but those feelings have grown more complicated, more like the romantic love that humans can never seem to speak about directly. For all that it is impossible, Shae loves her.

(It is not impossible; that is perhaps the wrong word. There are ways for merfolk to assume human form, and possibly vice versa, but Shae does not know them yet. It is advanced magic, much more advanced than the magic she is currently learning from her village shaman. And so it might as well be impossible.)

Shae has not told Ana about this. She has barely told anyone at all. (Trishkel the shaman knows, and has told her she is acting exceedingly human about this, which Shae cannot deny.) She’s afraid. She doesn’t want to lose Ana as a friend if her feelings aren’t returned. And even if Ana did love her in the same way, Shae does not want her friend forced to choose between two worlds, when one contains the only family Ana has left.

And so she says nothing, and admires Ana in spare moments, when she will not be noticed.

“I wish we could see more stars out here,” Ana says quietly. Below the surface, her hand brushes Shae’s, and Shae takes it.

“Me, too.” Shae squeezes her hand, and Ana squeezes back. “They’re more visible out by the village, but…”

“It’s too dangerous for me to swim that far from shore, I know.” She sighs a sigh Shae knows well; this is a discussion they’ve had far too many times.

“Yes,” Shae says.

They float silently for a few moments, then Ana says, “Maybe I should save up and buy a kayak or something. I could paddle out to the village and we could stargaze out there.”

Shae smiles, though she knows Ana can’t see it. “That sounds nice.”

More silence. Shae glances at Ana again. Her profile is backlit by the lights on the shore, a slightly scattered silhouette. The long, perfect slope of her nose drops off like a cliff, and the full curves of her lips look like gentle waves below that height. She’s lovely, Shae thinks. As always, she’s lovely.

She squeezes Ana’s hand again, and returns her gaze to the sky.

“Did I tell you about that time I saw all the stars?” Ana asks.

It isn’t really a question, because Ana has told this story before, but Shae replies, “I can’t remember. Tell it again and refresh my memory.”

So Ana begins her tale, talking about driving cross-country with her parents and her brother, about being twelve years old and bored by the endless plains outside her window. The second day of the trip saw them through the desert. Her father kept driving into the night, and Ana couldn’t sleep. Finally, close to midnight, her father pulled off the interstate, parking the car in a dirt turnoff close to the highway’s entrance.

Her brother and mother were both asleep, but Ana asked quietly why her father had stopped. “I need to look at something else for a few minutes,” he said. “Why don’t we step outside and look together.”

They were in the middle of the desert, far, far away from any human towns or even a fueling station. Ana followed her father out of the car and joined him to lean against the back bumper. The redness of the taillights rendered the shadows deep and flat on her father’s face. He smiled at her, and pointed up. “Take a look.”

Ana looked, and she gasped.

The sky was full of stars. The cloudy line of the galaxy towered up from the horizon, giving the sky depth and distance like she had never seen back home.

“I saw every star,” Ana says. “And all the planets, too. There were so many of them, the sky could barely hold them all. And—Daddy put his arm around my shoulder, and he held me, and we looked at the stars until his eyes could see the road again.” Her voice is thick, the words wobbly, and Shae knows without looking that Ana’s eyes are full of tears.

She lets go of Ana’s hand, and puts her arm loosely around Ana’s shoulders. “Hey,” she says, “I’m here, all right? I’m—I’m here.”

Ana squeezes her eyes shut, her breaths long and shaky. Shae sees her look up, her eyes blinking rapidly, trying, Shae knows, to dispel her tears. “It’s been three years,” she whispers. “Three years, and—and I still miss them, and it hurts, and—why does it still hurt so much?”

“Because they were your parents,” Shae answers. “Because you loved them, and you still love them. And missing people when they’re gone is… what happens.”

“I know.” Ana sniffles, and reaches one hand up to wipe her nose and rub at her eyes. “I know.” For a moment, she leans into Shae’s shoulder, and Shae dares to pull her a little closer. But then she mutters, “Dammit,” and pulls out of the embrace, moving to climb out of the water, back onto the boundary stone that marks the division between their worlds.

Shae folds her arms on the rock beside her, and looks up at her friend. “You all right?”

Ana tucks her legs against her chest, propping her chin on her knees, but says nothing.

“Thank you for telling me that story again, by the way,” Shae says. “It gets better every time I hear it.”

Ana turns her head to meet Shae’s eyes. “Yeah?”

Shae smiles. “Yeah. I know I tell you this a lot, but you’re a magnificent storyteller. The way you make a place like a desert feel alive to me, it’s just… magical, almost.”

Ana snorts, but Shae can see the beginnings of a smile on her face. “You do say that a lot. I’d almost say you were trying to flatter me, but… I know you better than that. You always tell me the truth.”

Shae’s heart quickens, and she feels a wave of heat flow from her chest to her face. She’s grateful at once that’s it’s too dark for Ana to see her clearly; she’d recognize a blush in an instant, and Shae doesn’t want to explain why she’s blushing at all. She manages to keep her eyes on Ana’s face. “I just—tell the truth as I see it,” she says. Her voice wavers a little, but she covers it by clearing her throat. “At least, that’s what Trishkel is trying to teach me. To read the truth from the currents and the stars.”

Ana smiles, her teeth glinting in the semi-dark. “How is shaman training going? I forgot to ask earlier.”

“It’s… complicated,” Shae replies. “It’s magic, which is never simple, and ritual, which is always boring. Trishkel seems pleased with my progress, at least.” She shrugs.

“Well, I’m glad it’s going okay,” Ana says, amusement in her voice. “You always say that magic is complicated, but…” She reaches up to touch the sea glass at her throat. “I’m glad these things still work. You must’ve done a really good job with them.”

Shae touches her own sea glass shard. “Thank you. Trishkel says that they’re… feeding off the force of our friendship a little? Relationships are their own kind of magic, he says, and because I made them to connect us, the more we feel connected, the more they connect. Like, the charm stays alive because we feel connected. If—that makes any sense.”

Ana shakes her head slowly, still smiling. “Not really? But they work, right? And it’s a hell of a lot easier than what we used to do.”

“Oh, yes,” Shae agrees, laughing a little. “Much better than sending our parents to and fro as messengers.”

“Yeah.”

Silence stretches between them, more a natural lull in the conversation than the result of awkwardness. Eventually, Ana uncurls her legs, letting her feet dangle in the water as she leans back to look at the sky again, bracing herself with her hands. Shae follows her gaze for a few minutes, before letting her eyes drift down to Ana’s face, and then, to Ana’s hand on the rock in front of her.

She wants to reach out and put her hand on top of Ana’s, but she tamps down on the urge almost at once. It’s not a good idea, she thinks firmly. It’s not. Yes, they hold hands fairly frequently when they’re in the water together, but that’s more a habit of safety than of affection. It’s different from what she’s contemplating now. If she takes Ana’s hand now, after they’ve shared memories and had a heart to heart, it would be too intimate. Too much, too soon. Too terrifying to continue thinking about.

Shae knows (or fears, or worries about) what would happen if she took Ana’s hand. She might have to explain herself, and in doing so, her secret would be revealed, and Ana might reject her, and their friendship would be changed forever, and not happily so. Better to stay silent, she tells herself. Better to do nothing.

She feels another wave of heat flush her chest and face, and she turns her head to lay on her folded arms and hide her expression. No need to worry her friend. No need to say anything more.

She curls her hands into fists, and does not move but for the waves bobbing her gently up and down.

Ana is laying on the rock now, her eyes fixed on the sky above, when Shae says quietly, “It’s getting late.”

Ana sighs. “I know.” Without looking, she reaches one hand out, and finds one of Shae’s cool and slightly clammy hands. She doesn’t need to say anything more; Shae opens her hand from a fist and closes it around Ana’s. “I wish I could stay out here forever, sometimes.”

“I know,” Shae replies.

Ana squeezes Shae’s hand; Shae squeezes back.

“Is your brother—?” Shae begins, then corrects herself. “I’m sorry. Do you still have curfew to worry about, or has he… changed his mind?” Ana can hear the undercurrent of scorn in her friend’s voice; Shae’s opinion of Danny has only fallen lower since her parents’ deaths.

“He hasn’t.” Ana sighs again, then lets go of Shae’s hand and levers herself into a sitting position. “I don’t know why he thinks I need a curfew anymore. I’ve been eighteen for six months, I know how to be responsible.”

She sees Shae frowning in the corner of her eye. “I know you do,” she says. “He’s just—” She stops herself, shaking her head. “Never mind.”

“I’m not even working tomorrow,” Ana grumbles, ignoring Shae’s near-outburst. “He just doesn’t seem to trust me. I mean, I know he worries, but still.” She shakes her head. “Let’s head back.”

“All right.” Shae holds up one hand, which Ana takes as she eases herself back into the water. The ocean is still refreshingly cool, and as she positions herself next to Shae, she wishes again that she could stay here forever. Maybe not in the ocean, but… with her friend, with the one person who understands her and likes her for who she is.

With a few muttered words and a flick of her wrist, Shae summons a golden bauble of light above them, so Ana can keep track of her on the way back to the docks. She smiles at Ana, and then they start to swim, alongside each other so closely that Ana’s legs and Shae’s tail brush off each other every few dozen strokes.

They’ve made this trek together dozens of times, so often that Ana can keep an eye on Shae almost on autopilot. She lets her mind wander a little as she falls into the rhythm of her stroke, and she thinks, not for the first time this summer, about what she wants.

Her first thought is an impulsive one: she wants to spend more time with Shae. But that’s almost impossible, and not just because of her land-bound obligations. They’re from two different worlds. Neither could survive in the other’s world, not without the help of powerful magic that Ana knows nothing about and Shae only knows of a little. They can only meet at the boundary of their worlds, in between each one but not fully in it.

Besides that, Ana has the weight of others’ expectations to worry about as well. Many of her friends from school have already moved away, headed off to universities to continue their studies. Ana has thought about taking courses at the local college, but she hasn’t been entirely sure of that, either. It doesn’t help that her inheritance money has been tangled up in some kind of problem at the bank; Danny has told her he’s working on it, but he hasn’t made much progress in the last six months. That’s part of the reason why she has the whale boat job, because Danny told her she had to support herself while he figured things out with the bank.

Not that getting the whale boat job has made Danny stop haranguing her, or stopped him from telling their various aunts and uncles around the country that he’s “worried” about Ana’s future. Though to be honest, Ana is also worrying about her future a little bit. What she wants and what she’s capable of doing aren’t adding up into anything she feels could be useful (never mind what Danny thinks is useful). She wants to stay here, where Shae is, but it’s becoming clear that opportunities in this seaside town are few and far between. And while a good word from the merfolk doesn’t go amiss in certain professions (it helped Ana land the job on the whale boat), it wouldn’t help her get a job she could make a career of, not unless she wanted to go into something like marine biology.

That is what concerns Danny the most: having a career. And Ana still doesn’t have the slightest idea what she could do to make her living. As much as Shae (and even her human friends) compliments her on her storytelling ability, it’s not exactly a skill Ana can parlay into a paying job. Which leaves her back on square one, stuck between the things she wants and the things everyone else expects her to want.

As they near the docks, Ana pulls her focus back to her surroundings. Shae leads the way, keeping her pace slow to let Ana cool down a little. But all too soon, they reach the little dock where Ana left her clothes. Ana catches the ladder with one hand, rising out of the water a little as she places a foot on the lowest rung beneath the surface. “Goodbye for now?” she says, turning to Shae.

Shae’s face shines in the golden glow of her conjured light, the scales on her face and shoulders glittering brightly. “Goodbye for now,” she repeats. She looks how she always looks when they have to leave each other—a little sad, maybe a little forlorn.

Ana tries to smile, to be reassuring, but it doesn’t feel like a good effort. Her thoughts from the swim are still hanging heavy over her, and Ana is certain it’s written all over her face. Shae’s expression doesn’t change, but of course it doesn’t; they know each other better than anyone else, and Shae can often read her like an open book.

“I—I’ll let you know when I have another evening free,” Ana says, shrugging awkwardly. “It’ll probably be a few days from now, you know how Danny gets sometimes…”

Shae nods. “I do. Let me know when you want to meet. And… talk to me in the meantime?” She touches the shard of sea glass at her throat. “I like talking to you, you know.”

“I—me, too.”

Shae is about to turn away. Ana can see it, in her body language and expression. She’s going to turn away, and they’re both going to feel a little sour as they head home. And so Ana does the first thing that comes to mind: she lets go of the ladder and hops back into the water, then catches Shae around the shoulders and hugs her. Shae doesn’t react for a moment, but then her arms close around Ana’s waist, and they just float there, clinging to each other.

Ana wishes again that she could stay with her friend, just for a little while longer. But she has other obligations, and she knows Danny is waiting. For a second, she hugs Shae tighter, and Shae responds in kind. Then, Ana slowly disentangles her arms from Shae’s hair and pulls away, catching onto the ladder again. Shae’s embrace loosens, but she doesn’t let go until Ana says quietly, “I’ve gotta go.”

Shae’s arms drop away, and she drifts away slightly in the water. For half a moment, Ana sees her expression—all sorrow, like she’s about to cry (even though merfolk don’t cry like humans do)—and then Shae puts a hand over her face, and the magical light goes out, and Ana looks away, her face heating with embarrassment.

“Sorry,” she says, climbing up the ladder quickly and clambering onto the dock. “I—sorry. I’ll see you soon?”

Shae looks up at her, her face partly in shadow, despite the electric light that hangs over this end of the dock. The sadness is gone from her face, and she smiles slightly. “See you soon,” she repeats. And then she swims out of the halo of light at the dock’s edge, and a moment later dips below the water’s surface, gone into the night.

Ana sits with her legs dangling over the side of the dock for a couple of minutes, hoping the slight breeze will dry her skin before she puts her clothes back on. She always feels bereft after Shae leaves her, but tonight feels worse for some reason. She wishes that she hadn’t hugged her after all, but only for a moment. They don’t hug as much as they did when they were younger. As she considers this, Ana realizes that she’s missed the hugs, the feeling of her friend’s arms around her, and the affection they both shared so easily when they were children.

Maybe Shae misses it, too, she thinks, then sighs. Or maybe you’re just being sentimental. She shakes her head, then uses the lamppost to climb to her feet. She needs to get home, and she won’t have any idea of the time until she gets back to the boardwalk, where the clock tower on the arcade keeps time. Hopefully it isn’t too late, or Danny will bite her head off the moment she’s through the front door.

She slips on her sandals and ties her skirt back around her waist, then throws her t-shirt over her shoulder instead of putting it on. She walks up the dock and back towards the rest of town, trying not to think about Shae’s reluctance to let go, or the expression on her face when she floated away. Shae cares about her, that’s all. She cares about Shae, too, and that’s fine, isn’t it? They’re friends, and friends are supposed to care about each other.

Ana wishes she could do more than just idly wishing to spend more time with Shae. That she could say more of what she means, instead of bottling things up. Sometimes it feels like there’s a chasm between them now, some insurmountable distance that keeps them both from saying what they really want to say. Ana loves Shae more than any other friend, and occasionally (when they’re being particularly smothering) more than her own family. Maybe—maybe she doesn’t love Shae like that, but—a lot. But saying that out loud, even thinking it, seems like too much. Like if Ana said it, it would break something between them.

And anyway, Shae knows that Ana cares about her, that Ana loves her. What would be the point in saying it out loud?

Because then she’d know, Ana thinks immediately. And I don’t know what will happen after that.

And just what does that mean? Ana shakes her head, throwing the thought away before she starts overthinking it. It doesn’t mean anything. Shae misses her when they’re apart, just like Ana misses her in turn. They’re friends; friends miss each other when they’re not together. It’s normal. It’s totally normal, and there is nothing wrong about it.

Ana exits the docks to find that the day’s heat is still rising up from the pavement. She sighs again, and as she makes her way to the boardwalk, she starts to sweat, the slight ocean breeze no longer enough to dry her out or even keep her cool. The heatwave hasn’t broken yet, and she grumbles about the weather the whole walk home, not daring to think about anything else.

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Doctor Who Review: S1/S14E05 - Dot and Bubble

Sat, 08 Jun 2024 19:37:56 GMT

Note: this review is a little all over the place. I tried to cover the important stuff. Please let me know if this comes off as self-centered or whatever. Please.

Something is wrong in the city of Finetime. People are going missing, but the disappearances aren't really noticed. Lindy Pepper-Bean hasn't noticed, and it's only when she's contacted by the Doctor and Ruby Sunday that she begins to peek outside her bubble and find out what's really going on. Slug-like creatures are eating the people of Finetime, and it's up to the Doctor and Ruby to get as many people out as they can before the entire populace is devoured.

( SPOILERS, as usual; also discussion of my white cluelessness )

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Doctor Who Review: S1/S14E04 - 73 Yards

Fri, 31 May 2024 17:44:58 GMT

( No time for an intro; SPOILERS AHEAD! )

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Doctor Who Review: S1/S14E03 - Boom

Thu, 23 May 2024 21:19:53 GMT

This season's third episode marks writer Steven Moffat's return to Doctor Who, his first episode since 2017's "Twice Upon a Time." The Doctor and Ruby land on the war-torn planet of Kastarion 3, where the Doctor runs right into trouble: he has stepped on a landmine, and he cannot move without everything going BOOM.

( SPOILERS ABOUND, as usual )

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Doctor Who Review: S1/S14E02 - The Devil's Chord

Sat, 18 May 2024 21:01:52 GMT

The second episode of this season's double premiere, "The Devil's Chord" follows the Doctor and Ruby Sunday to 1963 as they go to watch the Beatles record their first album. But something has gone wrong with music, and the pair soon find themselves in a fight for the universe against the mysterious Maestro.

( SPOILERS ABOUND, as usual. )

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Doctor Who Review: S1/S14 E01 - Space Babies

Wed, 15 May 2024 21:29:49 GMT

After a quartet of specials last year to ring in Russell T Davies' second term as showrunner, Doctor Who has returned for a regular season at last! With Ncuti Gatwa helming the TARDIS as the Fifteenth Doctor and Millie Gibson joining him as companion Ruby Sunday, Season 1 (or as I like to think of it, Series 14) got started last weekend with a double premiere, the first episode of which was "Space Babies."

( BE YE WARNED: SPOILERS ABOUND )

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NaNoWriMo Day 30

Thu, 30 Nov 2023 23:01:15 GMT

Words (Written Today): 291

Words (Total as of Today): 17,059

Mood: Decent, but also tired.

Treat: Gonna watch some Doctor Who or read some Murderbot (again).

First Line (Written Today): As the third week of training drew to a close, Tron was impressed by Flynn and Crom both.

Last Line (Written Today): Tron didn’t know what it could mean, only that it was significant.

Favorite Line (Written Today): As he went over the last few weeks in his mind, Tron could not help but be unnerved by the strange coincidences that had led to all this, all the strangeness that surrounded Flynn and his appearance here.

Other Stuff: So this is the end... at least for this current writing soiree. 30 days in a row is pretty dang impressive, right? Right. (And technically it's 34 days if you count the writing I did at the end of October.) I wrote 17k on a new story idea, and I like what I've been writing so far. I don't know if I'll continue with this story into next month; I have another TRON fic I need to update in January that I probably ought to be cycling back to before that time comes. But I think, by and large, I am going to be taking December off. I need a freaking break. Sheesh. I am proud of what I have accomplished this month, but I need to rest. Like, a lot. Ugh.

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NaNoWriMo Day 29

Thu, 30 Nov 2023 22:07:35 GMT

Words (Written Today): 367

Words (Total as of Today): 16,768

Mood: Tired. As usual. As has been the fucking theme this month. Sigh...

Treat: I went and watched the new Doctor Who again and also read more Murderbot.

First Line (Written Today): If it was allowed, Flynn could at least give Crom some of the skills he’d need to survive the first few rounds of the initial Games.

Last Line (Written Today): “It may be a bad idea, but I haven’t got the heart to sit back and do nothing.”

“You know what?” Ram replied, looking back at the pair. “Neither do I.”

Favorite Line (Written Today): “I don’t care,” he said again. “I can’t—I can’t do nothing. So…” He turned to Crom and held out one hand. “I’m Flynn. It’s nice to meet you.”

Crom hesitated before finally putting his hand in Flynn’s. “Nice to meet you, too.” He glanced over his shoulder worriedly. “I—I hope this works.”

“Me too,” said Flynn. “We might be about to die here in a week or so, but… better to die beside a friend than among enemies, eh?” He grinned.

Crom managed to smile back. “Yes. Yes, that sounds good.”

Other Stuff: (backdated again, woohoo) I can't say I've got a lot to say about yesterday? This was another short session of writing, about 15 minutes again. I am gonna do one last push, and then I can take a flipping break. December is going to be Relax-O-Vision central for me. Oof.

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NaNoWriMo Day 28

Wed, 29 Nov 2023 22:04:19 GMT

Words (Written Today): 247

Words (Total as of Today): 16,401

Mood: Tired. As usual. (UGH.)

Treat: reading some more Murderbot.

First Line (Written Today): He looked down, his expression utterly dejected.

Last Line (Written Today): Flynn already knew his way around the longsword, it seemed, and there wasn’t much left to teach him besides the basics of the other major weapons.

Favorite Line (Written Today): [Crom] tried to smile as he looked up at them. “I’ll figure out something. It’s—it’s fine.”

“No, it’s—” Tron began, but Flynn was quicker.

“No,” he said fiercely. “It’s not fine, and you shouldn’t have to walk into the Games blindfolded because your sponsors couldn’t be bothered to help.”

Other Stuff: Another 15 minute writing session last night. (Backdating again...) Not too bad for that amount of time, but I can feel that I am on my last legs, writing-wise, for this month. I've got two more days to go to get that 30 day update badge, and then I can freaking REST. And that'll be NICE. But for now... slouching ever onward.

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NaNoWriMo Day 27

Tue, 28 Nov 2023 23:04:40 GMT

Words (Written Today): 362

Words (Total as of Today): 16,154

Mood: Very tired, as usual. (SIGH)

Treat: Watching the new Doctor Who special again!

First Line (Written Today): Tron frowned a little, his heart torn between two options.

Last Line (Written Today): “They’re supposed to be training you, though,” Flynn said, his brow furrowed in confusion. “That’s—that’s why they chose to sponsor you, to prepare you for the Games. If they don’t train you, they’re as good as leaving you for dead.”

Crom grimaced. “You don’t have to tell me twice,” he muttered.

Favorite Line (Written Today): They both needed to be at their best for Flynn, but leaving Crom to fend for himself seemed cruel, and Tron was starting to have enough of cruelty.

Other Stuff: (Backdating again) I wrote this in about 15 minutes when I realized I was taking too long to write my recap/review of the new Doctor Who episode. Not bad, honestly! I'm honestly kind of looking forward to the end of the month, though, so I don't Have To write every day anymore. I'll be writing in December, it just won't be nearly as often. And thank goodness for that.

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NaNoWriMo Day 26

Mon, 27 Nov 2023 19:49:08 GMT

Words (Written Today): 170

Words (Total as of Today): 15,792

Mood: Pretty damn tired.

Treat: Going to read more Murderbot!

First Line (Written Today): “Yes,” Crom replied shakily, “and I don’t know where they are.

Last Line (Written Today): We’re supposed to fight to the death, and I don’t want to die, but they won’t train me, either.

Favorite Line (Written Today): “They said I was hopeless, though,” Crom said again. “And they’re right--I’ve never held a sword in my life! I was an accountant for the greatest merchant family in Makintos before, I don’t know how to fight!” He spread his hands, his expression desperate. “I only thought--they told me in prison I was going to the Games, and I know how these sorts of things go. We’re supposed to fight to the death, and I don’t want to die, but they won’t train me, either.”

Other Stuff: (backdated again....) At this point, I'm not really going to be writing much every day anymore. I'm still aiming for that 30-day update streak badge on the NaNo site, so I will be writing every day until the 30th. I just won't be writing large amounts anymore. And that's okay! I don't want to burn myself out when December comes! So yeah.

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NaNoWriMo Day 25

Sun, 26 Nov 2023 01:54:00 GMT

Words (Written Today): 745

Words (Total as of Today): 15,622!!!!! \o/

Mood: pretty good!!!!

Treat: gonna watch the new Doctor Who again because WHY NOT.

First Line (Written Today): “Now what do we do with that information?”

Last Line (Written Today): “C-Crom,” he stammered back. “They—they told me I could probably figure things out on my own, I just—”

“Who told you?” Tron asked, his brow furrowing. “Your sponsors? Where are they?”

Favorite Line (Written Today): The man startled so badly that he dropped his sword, and when he turned and saw Tron, he immediately got on his knees and started apologizing as he tried to pick up the sword again.

“I’m sorry,” Tron said, offering him a hand. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“I didn’t mean to--I’m sorry,” the man repeated. He stared at Tron’s offered hand, then finally took it.

As Tron pulled him to his feet, he studied the man a bit closer. He had a round face that was splotchy with red, but the hollow in his cheeks spoke of a well-fed man who had missed more than a few meals of late. The hang of his clothes underneath the armor told the same tale, and Tron wondered for a moment what had pulled this man from such a comfortable existence.

Other Stuff: I met my goal I Met My Goal I MET MY GOAL!!!!!!!!!!! So that's definitely bringing the delight tonight!!! Now I have to meet my secondary goal of writing every day this month, which means 5 more days of updates here. But at least I don't have to go full bore on them, thank goodness. I need to start winding down my Writing All The Time mode anyway; I'm planning to have a much more sedate December. BUT I DID MEET MY GOAL FOR THIS MONTH. WOOHOO. \o/

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NaNoWriMo Day 24

Sat, 25 Nov 2023 01:52:31 GMT

Words (Written Today): 444

Words (Total as of Today): 14,877

Mood: Tired. I got a holiday hangover, as it were. also a socializing hangover. (not a literal one, just... emotional spoons are low, as are the physical spoons)

Treat: Gonna go crawl under the heated blanket and read something or something else

First Line (Written Today): What had caused Flynn to change his approach to learning, Tron couldn’t guess.

Last Line (Written Today): “He’s done this before,” Ram said. “Has to have. He might not remember it, but--he has to have been a knight or a fighter or--something.”

“Agreed,” Tron replied.

Favorite Line (Written Today): What had caused Flynn to change his approach to learning, Tron couldn’t guess. Either their talk the evening before had awoken something in him, or something else had happened. He knew better than to think it was the result of one night’s prayer; he called upon the gifts the gods had given him, but he was not so naïve as to think they worked so directly. Something had lit an inner fire in Flynn, certainly, and he had been right: better to light one candle than curse the darkness.

Other Stuff: Another Big Day. Mostly family socializing today, the food's all done with, thank goodness. I am tired and I've got a headache nagging me, so I'm signing off.

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NaNoWriMo Day 23

Sat, 25 Nov 2023 01:47:45 GMT

Words (Written Today): 260

Words (Total as of Today): 14,433

Mood: [static noises]

Treat: Um. Food???

First Line (Written Today): Flynn nodded, and they walked over to Ram, who stood with one of the practice swords resting jauntily on his shoulder.

Last Line (Written Today): He made fewer comments as they spoke, instead nodding along to their explanations and asking questions when appropriate.

Favorite Line (Written Today): “Greetings and good morning, friends,” he called as they approached. “How’s the young novice?”

Flynn snorted. “I don’t feel that young,” he replied, “but I’ll grant you the novice part. What aches and pains will you be inflicting today?”

“A myriad of aches awaits, but you’ll thank me for them later, o novice.”

Other Stuff: It was a holiday yesterday. (huzzah for backdating.) I could not access my computer (had family using my "office" for its actual function, the guest bedroom), so I wrote this by hand, then typed it into GDocs to get a word count, then plugged that word count into the NaNo site. And then I ate a bunch of food and socialized and went to bed exhausted.

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NaNoWriMo Day 22

Sat, 25 Nov 2023 01:43:20 GMT

Words (Written Today): 393

Words (Total as of Today): 14,173

Mood: [footage not found]

Treat: bed???????

First Line (Written Today): Flynn stayed quiet and untalkative through early morning rations, which Tron felt was to be expected.

Last Line (Written Today): “Let’s go get started for today, all right?”

Favorite Line (Written Today): It wasn’t until they were out in the yard itself that Flynn caught up to Tron and touched his shoulder. Tron turned, motioning for Ram to go on ahead. “What is it, Flynn?” he asked.

“I just wanted to thank you,” Flynn said, not quite meeting his eyes. “For what you did last night. It… it helped. So thank you.”

“Of course,” Tron replied. He held out his hand, and was glad when Flynn took it. “We didn’t mean to frighten you last night in the mess. I’ve always found it’s better to face a trial like this with the truth at hand. But I can understand how it might have all been a bit much for you. So I apologize for that.”

Flynn squeezed his hand, and actually smiled. “Better to light one candle than curse the darkness, right?”

Other Stuff: (Backdating again, whee!!!!) (it is Friday now) (a whole Holiday has happened) I cannot honestly recall a single thing about how I felt on Wednesday night, other than utterly exhausted. I baked a pie on Wednesday. And other things. It was exhausting. Oof.

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